


The Wonderful Mess That We Made

by esmereldagrace



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 05:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmereldagrace/pseuds/esmereldagrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But his feet froze on the spot, his heart stuttering to a stop he was sure because there is no way in <i>hell</i> he just saw the person he thought he saw, standing only a couple of feet away from him. </p><p>No.</p><p>It <i>had</i> to be a figment of his imagination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LuRe Yule Challenge 2013.
> 
> This is set three years after the [30/06/10](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RG5Ku15CWc) episode, and is a canon divergent fic where Reid left after the conversation they had at the beginning of the episode. There was no Chris nonsense and none of that _other_ stuff happened either! 
> 
> A massive thanks to Bluecactus03 for the wonderfully epic and quick beta skills, you are amazing and a huge thank you to tldreamer for taking on and organising this wonderful challenge and for letting me be a part of it. You rock! And lastly, thanks to the fabulous and always awesome [Cherimola](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherimola/pseuds/Cherimola) for the cheerleading and confidence boosting. It means more than you know. ♥
> 
> Title of the song taken from this bloody amazing song, [Flaws](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E36WU9Wzf4) by Bastille. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it even a little bit and thank you for reading!

"Hey, Lettie--you hungry, baby?"

"Case, she's fine--she ate some of that apple and pear cereal and I'll give her a bottle before her nap."

"I just don't want her to get all moody on you. You're already doing me a favour this close to Christmas and--"

"Casey," Luke cut in, grabbing a hold of his best friend's shoulders with both hands. He turned him away from his baby and shook him to get his attention. "She’ll be fine, she won't get moody and if she does, she has her Uncle Luke to calm her down, 'kay?"

Casey frowned. "But--"

"I’ll take care of your baby girl, don't worry. You have a job...these things happen."

Casey scrubbed a hand through his hair in distress, blonde hair in wayward and rough spikes defying gravity. "Not on the first weekend you’ve had off in a while, man. I promise that this won’t happen again, nothing this short notice."

Luke rolled his eyes; this speech heard a million times since last night and dropped his hands. “Casey, I love you but I am going to kick your ass if you don’t stop. We’re in this together, okay? We always have been and look--taking care of her is not a job for me--you have to know that.”

Casey reluctantly nodded and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Okay, yes--you’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Luke patted his chest and grinned. “Go get changed, get your things and I’ll plate up your breakfast.”

“Thank you, dear,” Casey said looking relieved and made a kissy face leaning in, but Luke batted him away with a laugh.

“Idiot, go away.”

Casey bumped his shoulder affectionately but managed to drop a sloppy kiss to his cheek anyway and ran to his room to get his things ready before Luke could kick him.

Being the most in demand and best sports therapist this side of the states meant that Casey was heading to New York for the weekend, leaving his baby girl in Luke’s most capable hands.

But that was nothing that hadn’t happened before. It was something that they had both gotten used to, or should he say all _three_ of them had gotten used to.

Lettie was the light of Casey’s life, he couldn't live without her for even a day and Luke had to admit, she’d changed his life in all the good ways, too.

When Casey had found out his ex-girlfriend was pregnant and too far along, he was willing to make things work with her, to get their relationship back on track for their baby. But she wasn’t. She wasn’t ready to bring up a child when her photography career was just taking off and especially when she wasn’t emotionally invested in the relationship.

Casey and Luke had only moved to Boston together three months before with Luke having set up an office for his foundation and Casey coming to live with him. He'd found the perfect job for himself at the local hospital and gym, so they weren't exactly ready for this situation.

But during that rough and unpredictable time, Luke was there with him and _for_ him in every way that counted. But, as he'd expected, Casey couldn’t let his daughter be given away and so made the decision to take full responsibility for his baby girl.

Lettie's mother cut all ties and legal rights, giving sole custody to Casey and ten months in, they’d made a life for themselves. She checked in at least once a month and Casey kept her informed about any major developments in Lettie's life. That was the only thing she had asked for.

Scarlett Rose Hughes was loved and adored by both Luke and Casey and neither of them could imagine their lives without her anymore.

“Bah!” Scarlett banged her new favourite toy, a plastic spoon on the table, lips in a pout, startling Luke.

“Woah, hey--what’s going on?” Luke plated up the toast and the coffee he’d prepared for Casey, keeping it far away from her where she was sat in her high chair at the table. "You feeling neglected, baby bird?"

Lettie just stuck her spoon in her mouth and gurgled some more, legs kicking. She had her father’s eyes, bright blue and gorgeous, the chubbiest cheeks and the cutest button nose. But she had her mother’s hair, a darker shade of brown, which she’d had since the day she was born. But in every other way, she was a mini little Casey. Luke couldn’t help but lean down and blow a raspberry on her cheek, making her giggle. He laughed at her delight and gave her kiss to her cheek, going to get his own coffee.

Lettie had woken up at seven that morning, and with Casey needing an early start, Luke had thought it best he woke up with them. Drinking some of his own coffee, he grabbed the still warm cereal from earlier and moved the other spoon away from her mouth and fed Lettie a spoonful hoping he’d fare better this time. And he did.  She ate it happily, vastly different from earlier when she had been making funny faces when she’d eaten it.

“Good girl! When you’re done with this, I’ll give you your bottle. How does that sound, sweet pea?” Luke cooed, smiling when she happily ate another spoonful. “Very good.”

Casey came down soon enough, throwing his bags on the couch and eating his breakfast with them all as quick as he could. In no time he had his bags deposited in the car and was having a hard time letting Scarlett go.

"Baby, I'm gonna miss you so so much. Be good for your Uncle Luke, okay? I’m gonna buy you the most amazing Christmas present ever, I promise!" Casey peppered kisses to her face and she squirmed in his arms, giggling, until a loud squawk from her had him stop.

Casey smiled reverently down at her, pressing one last kiss to her hair, rocking her from side to side. "I love you," he murmured. Lettie buried her head into Casey's neck and her hands gripping at his coat tightly, her favourite way to rest against her father, clearly not wanting to let go of him either.

Luke looked at them both with a fond smile. But as much as he didn't want to split them apart, Casey was getting late. "And Lettie loves her Daddy, too. Don't you baby bird?" Luke said, hands on his hips.

Casey looked up and threw Luke a knowing wink, giving Scarlett one last kiss to her cheek and holding her out for Luke to take even though she made a noise of distress. "I have to go, baby. I'll be back before you know it, I promise." Casey double checked he had his phone and his wallet and then pulled Luke and Lettie in for one more hug.

"No house parties allowed, okay?" he added, touching Lettie's nose lightly who scrunched up her face in confusion, wondering why her Daddy wasn't holding her anymore.

"Yes, Daddy," Luke replied with a grin, settling Scarlett more comfortably on his hip, arm under her butt.

"Idiot," Casey said fondly, cuffing at Luke's head, opening the door. "I'll call you soon and take care of yourselves."

"Will do! Say 'bye' to your Daddy! Bye!" Luke stood on the threshold as he followed Casey out, the winter chill making him shiver from tip to toe. He held Scarlett closer and made her lift her arm to wave but she wasn't having any of it. Her chin and bottom lip trembled, her eyes now wide and brimming with tears.

"Bye, baby!" Casey called out one last time as he got in the car but by then Scarlett had a good idea what was happening and had started crying in earnest, arms reaching out for her father.

"Go back inside, I'll call you later," Casey shouted, waving them back, sticking his head out of the window. "It's too cold!"

Luke agreed and waved his goodbye, quickly shutting the door and leaving the spine tingling cold outside. Scarlett was crying harder than ever and Luke knew there were only a few things that would get her to settle but the loud crying wasn’t helping.

“Your Daddy will be home soon, I promise,” he soothed her, feeling almost as distraught as her when he remembered something. “Hey baby bird, where's your wolf? Where's Derek, huh?" Luke rubbed Lettie's back and pressed a kiss to her forehead, eyes searching around the room. "Derek's probably missing you so much, don't you miss him? He needs special Lettie hugs only, isn’t that right?"

One handed, he checked under the couch pillows and in Lettie’s toy box, searching for Derek the wolf as Lettie screamed her protests into his ear. Murmuring prayers under his breath, he hoped that he would find the wolf in Lettie’s room where he saw it last. Bouncing Lettie in his arms, he took the stairs as fast as he could and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the dark grey wolf lying on its side in her cot.

“Ahhh, there he is!” Luke bent down to grab him and gasped catching her attention, touching the wolf’s nose against Lettie’s, “Look who it is! It’s Derek!”

With fat tears still rolling down her cheeks, Lettie’s cries turned to whimpers and she reached her arms out for the wolf, mouthing at the nose straight away. Her big blue eyes still looked sad and were blinking away tears but Luke knew that another little something to make her feel better wouldn’t go amiss.

Taking her back downstairs, he wiped away her tears with his thumb gently and went back into the living room. Getting his iPod off of the coffee table, he put it into the speaker dock and scrolled through until he found Lettie's special playlist. Out blasted the beginnings of ‘ _Hopeless Wanderer_ ’, as well as Marcus Mumford’s soothing voice. Luke watched as Lettie blinked away the last of her tears and the beginnings of a smile starting to emerge on her face. He couldn’t help but smile with her and kissed her cheek.

“That’s your favourite song, isn’t it baby bird?”

Neither Casey nor Luke had an idea why Lettie had an obsession with music that most kids her age wouldn’t even listen to, and in Lettie’s case it was her obsession with Mumford and Sons. He guessed it had a lot to do with the fact that he used to have it on in the background as he wrote when she was younger. But other than that, Casey or Luke didn't have a clue as to why her preferences in music had emerged so young. There was some One Direction as well as some nursery rhymes thrown in there, but nothing soothed Lettie like Mumford and Sons did.

Luke held her up high above her head, Lettie still had a firm grip on Derek’s ear, making her screech happily and lowered her enough so that he could nuzzle his face into her cheek. They danced together till the end of the song, swaying together on the spot with Luke singing along until Lettie had had enough and was squirming to get down and play.

“You had enough of me? Don’t I dance good, sweetie?” Lettie ignored him and whined some more until Luke complied. She scuttled over on her hands and knees to her toy box. Holding onto the edges and heaving herself onto her feet, she rooted through it to find what she wanted, her woes about her Daddy being gone all forgotten about.

Luke smiled to himself and turned down the music, glancing over at the clock on the wall and sighing wearily.

 It wasn’t even nine and he had the whole day ahead of him but since Saturday was his first day off in a while, he was going to make the most of it.

Working at the foundation five days a week and keeping up with his writing had been a challenge he’d been willing to take on without thinking twice about it. Even if it took up most of his time, he’d never been happier. He was almost done with his final edits for his first novel, which was based on his rather colourful upbringing.  It had been snapped up by an independent publishing house that was just starting out. He knew it was a risk but he trusted them with his ‘baby’, it was a part of his soul that he’d willingly bared and bled into the pages. Luke wasn’t entirely sure whether readers or critics would even like it, but he would always be proud of it no matter what.

He padded over to the kitchen a couple feet away, and poured himself another cup of coffee. Glancing over at Lettie, he found her happily playing with some foam blocks with Derek the Wolf sat next to her, and so Luke guessed there was no harm in checking in on some e-mails in the meantime and so grabbed his laptop, too.

Sat on the couch with his feet up, he’d only gotten through two e-mails from work, replied to them and had only half of his coffee when a sharp screech caught his attention. Pulse rocketing in fear, Luke looked over his laptop and found Lettie sitting on the ground by his feet pulling at his toes and sweat pants and Luke couldn’t help but laugh.

“Baby bird, all you had to do was ask. I love to play with you, you know that.”

Luke joined her on the floor seconds later, carding a hand through his long-ish hair that was in desperate need of a cut, and rooted through her toy box, finding a couple more toys to play with. He then grabbed her colourful play mat, sitting her up with a loud, exaggerated ‘oomph’ and wide eyes.

“You’re getting so big, Lettie. Your Daddy is gonna have to buy you so many new clothes.” Lettie made a noise as if to say she agreed and Luke chuckled, nuzzling his nose with hers. “Yes, he will and so will I because this is your first ever Christmas!” he kissed her cheek. “And it’s gonna be an amazing Christmas for all of us, I promise.”

Moving to Boston was the best decision Luke had ever made, and even though he missed his family more than anything, this was always where he was meant to be. Oakdale was home, but it had started to become toxic. His heart and mind came to be at peace when he moved to Boston, and he knew that leaving Oakdale when he did had been the right decision.

That constant uncomfortable undercurrent of _something_ that was buried deep within his skin eked its way out when he finally took a stand and did something to move forward with his life. And without a certain someone, he was sure that the courage he had within himself wouldn't have had the chance to emerge.

He was the catalyst that had been present three years ago, igniting the urge to do something new, something different and to do something for himself, but that catalyst left without a word said in goodbye. A feebly lit match that extinguished his hopes and any dreams he’d carefully sown, thrown away like yesterday’s garbage.

Three years on, Luke still missed Reid.

That Reid Oliver shaped hole in his heart was ever present and every single day he wished it wasn't ever there. Luke may have been a blip on his radar but Reid was never _ever_ that for him.

 If anything, he was the one who set his life back on track, believed in him and listened to him and understood him in a way that no one else ever did or could. He was an anomaly, that significant part of his life that changed the course of his life forever. The pain of losing him the way he did, with no goodbye and without getting a chance to explain himself, had dulled over the years. His work and his writing became his focus, his way to deal with it all.

Now he had Lettie, who gave him a glimpse of a future he could have someday, a dream he could sometimes feel slipping away from him with every day that went by. Regardless, he was happy, with or without someone to love.

Well truthfully no...that wasn’t entirely true. He had his family, his friends and Scarlett. He had to make the most of all the precious moments he had with this little girl and his family, be grateful for what he had and the life that he was living.

If this was the way his life wanted to play out, then he was happy to let it.

They played with the abacus, Luke helping her count up to ten and back down again, then with her little xylophone, singing Christmas songs with tickles thrown in to make Lettie laugh so hard her four little teeth were clear to see, making her look even more adorable. After a little more dancing and singing, Lettie became restless, irritable and clingy and Luke was sure nap time wasn’t too far.

He made up her bottle, Lettie on his hip watching everything Luke did with wide eyes, clutching at his t-shirt tightly.

“Nearly done, baby bird--then it’s naptime, yes it is,” he told her softly.

Milk at the perfect temperature, Luke handed the bottle over to Lettie who put it straight to her mouth but Luke steadied her hand and laughed. “Are you that hungry, huh?”

Sitting down on the couch, he settled Lettie in his arms comfortably; her head resting in the crook of his elbow as he quickly put a bib under her chin. Lettie had the bottle straight back to her mouth, Luke holding the end, and was hungrily sucking away, her legs in the air kicking away happily.

It didn't take long for Lettie to be finished, her eyes drooping shut, her body becoming limp with slumber. Setting the empty bottle on the coffee table, he carefully lifted her so she could rest her head on his shoulder and rubbed her back, rocking her to sleep.

Only a couple of minutes later, Lettie’s soft breaths were hitting his neck, arms star fished across his chest and she was sleeping soundly. With a fond smile, Luke dropped a light kiss to her forehead and laid her down in the little portable crib they’d set up not far from their tiny Christmas tree, covering her with a blanket to keep her warm.

And then there was peace. For a little while anyway.

Since it _was_ quiet, Luke had nothing better to do then get on with some chores and headed to the kitchen to wash the dishes. After that he put on some laundry, folded the clothes out of the dryer and as quietly as possible tidied the front room, sweeping it, setting pillows straight and putting Lettie’s toys back in her box.

Two single men and a baby made a hell of a mess but Casey and Luke had come up with a system that worked. They didn't have charts but lists, each of them doing what they could in the time they had and it worked for them.

It's not as if they had to worry about potential girlfriends or boyfriends. 

Ever since Lettie, neither of them had the energy or the inclination to date. But Luke knew it wouldn't be long before Casey would want to start, especially since sex had been off the table for the past year, which was probably the longest Casey had gone without it. But Luke was okay with that, he wanted Casey to find love again, even if he himself never found it again.

Sweaty and pleased with the amount of work he’d gotten done, he took note of the time and couldn't believe it was almost noon. Luke realised he had more than enough time for a quick shower and so set up one of the baby monitors downstairs and took one with him to the bathroom just in case Lettie needed him.

Back from the quickest shower ever, Lettie thankfully still asleep, Luke finally managed to check all his emails. But when he clicked onto an e-mail from Rohan, he had to stop himself from laughing out loud, slapping a hand over his mouth in case he woke Lettie up.

His ex and now very good friend was a band manager for a young, up and coming rock band, a job that he loved butcame with a  responsibility that meant that he was travelling the world with them, making sure their music was heard.  

He'd met him at a Christmas party in Chicago and Luke had to admit, he'd fallen for him almost straight away. Typically tall, dark, handsome and of Indian descent, Rohan's eyes were what had grabbed him first. They were a hazel green, a colour unlike any he’d ever seen before _and god_ , he was unbelievably charming and sweet.

Luke hadn’t been looking for anything or anyone but after Reid had left the way he did and Noah leaving for Tinseltown soon after that, he had absolutely nothing to lose. He’d given up on ever finding the right guy and believed his luck with his love life had hit a rut which he wasn’t ever going to get out of.

Meeting Rohan was a game changer, the right person that had come along at exactly the right time. He’d made him laugh, made him feel cherished and adored, and he hoped he'd treated Rohan right, too. And so began their relationship. It had lasted longer than he’d expected or even dreamed, but Luke was more than sure that they were better off friends than they ever were as boyfriends.

The picture that had been attached to the email was Rohan dressed in drag, posing seductively on a chaise lounge. The band were bored on their day off in Italy and Rohan took it upon himself to be made over in drag so that they could go out and have some fun. And he didn’t look so bad if Luke had to be honest.

The black mini dress fit his body like a glove, the heels that made him look even taller than he was and the makeup brought out the best features of his handsome chiselled face. The amount of waxing that must’ve gone on was something Luke dared not ask about, but this was typically Rohan and his ridiculousness, nothing new or unexpected. Luke fired off a quick email back, letting Rohan know that he’d never looked more beautiful, which was half a truth anyway, and that he missed him and should call him when he was free.

He diligently avoided looking at a particular folder that still languished in his emails. The folder that held all the emails he’d sent to Reid that had gone unanswered. He hadn’t looked at those for almost a year, but didn’t have the heart to delete them. He squeezed his eyes shut, that claustrophobic feeling overcoming him for a moment. Taking a deep breath to steady himself. Luke wondered how long it would be before he could truly move on. He hoped that time came soon.

Lettie was awake an hour later. After changing her and feeding her some lunch of some steamed organic vegetables, he ate a cheese and ham sandwich of his own, one handed. Feeling stifled at home, he knew it was only so long that they could stay cooped up inside with nothing else to do. Lettie could do with some fresh air and so knew there was time to pass.

It was a Saturday and Luke knew that there was a Christmas farmer’s market not far from home that he hadn’t had a chance to visit. He’d heard only good things and with the promise of not only organic vegetables but other sweet treats that he could buy, his mind was made up. He got Lettie dressed in her polar bear winter onesie that doubled up as a jacket, keeping her warm from head to toe.

Looking as adorable as she did, Luke couldn’t help but take a quick photo on his phone and sent it straight to Casey who he knew would get all misty eyed over it for sure. Leaving Lettie to play for a little while, Luke gathered all the baby essentials, stuffed them in a backpack and made sure he was dressed just as warmly as she was.

A warm woolly beanie stuck on his own head, matching gloves and scarf on, Luke adjusted Lettie’s own little beanie and the polar bear onesie hood over her head and strapped her to his chest in a Baby Bjorn carrier. The pram would only get stuck in the snow so the carrier was the best option for travelling with his precious cargo.

“Ready to go baby bird?” Luke asked, kissing the tip of her nose. Lettie flailed her arms replied with a, “Bah, bah, bah,” and a four toothed grin, fists hitting his jacket. Luke took that as his final answer, blowing a raspberry on her cheek.

***

The walk to the market took only twenty minutes and the Christmas spirit was definitely in the air. The shops he walked past to get there had their windows full of all their holiday goods, toys and lights and food and the huge gift baskets. The street had been strung up with lights, waiting for the dark to brighten the streets with holiday cheer, the snow only added to the atmosphere.

“Baby bird, when your Daddy gets home we’re gonna have to build a snowman. We haven’t done that yet, have we?” Luke glanced down at Lettie who had her head thrown back to look up at the sky, and then side to side make sense of all the new sounds and sights around her. She loved going out and seeing new things. Luke couldn’t wait till he could take her to the zoo and the cinema, to hear her talk and discover the world as she grew older. It was his godfather-ly duty after all.

“And we need to take you to see Santa, too!” Luke told her, grabbing a hold of each of her gloved hands and pressing a kiss to each of them. She wriggled and babbled her baby talk, her blue eyes shining with happiness, cheeks ruddy and red with the cold, and Luke was powerless not to give her a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

With one more kiss to her temple, he let his eyes take in the glorious Christmas market, stalls filled with colourful fruit and vegetables, all types of sweets, breads and cakes and cheeses.

It was settled.

He was going to buy as much as he could carry and he was taking it all of it home, whether there was space in the cupboards or not. Meandering over to the stall with the cakes, he was happy to see a young brunette behind it, wrapped up warm against the chill in the air and smiling just as warmly.

“What can I get for you?” she asked. Luke was in awe of all that was in front of him, iced cakes and pastries and pies, and made a face, shrugging and looking totally confused he was sure.

"I have no clue!"

The girl, whose name was Rachel he'd found out, laughed and was quick to guide him in the right direction, handing him samples of their best items.

God, he loved Christmas. And the _food_ , he _loved_ the food that brought such joy even in its simplicity. And no, he wasn’t going to think about how a certain someone would be in love with all of this, just no.

The gingerbread with actual chunks of crystallised ginger was the best thing he’d ever tasted but the fruity stollen was amazing too and he was stuck between which treat should get the number one spot so in a possible fit of insanity, he ordered to get them _both_ packed up for him and had taken her business card, too. Even Lettie was curious, eyes on Luke as he tasted the crumbly sweet goodness, but Luke wasn’t quite sure whether she was old enough to eat anything like this. She was licking her lips and looking longingly at him and _wow_ had she mastered the puppy dog eyes because he’d fallen for it.

“Do you have anything that’s not too spicy she could try?” Rachel nodded enthusiastically and handed over a red velvet cupcake. “That’s on the house,” she told him with a smile.

“Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you.”

“You’re welcome,” Rachel grinned. “You’re helping me out so much already with the promise of more customers, this is nothing.”

“Well, it’s a ‘nothing’ that’s made mine and Lettie’s day,” he broke off a small piece of the cake and fed it to an eager Lettie who chewed on it slowly, the myriad of expressions on her face as she decided whether she liked it or not the most adorable thing he had ever seen. She swallowed and then licked her lips before opening her mouth for more, bouncing in the carrier so much that Luke had to put a hand on the back to settle her. Turning to Rachel with wide eyes and a chuckle, he blew out a sigh. “And I think you have your youngest customer yet!”

Rachel laughed and handed over the cakes that she’d wrapped up for him, “That’s the review I’d been waiting for. Thank you, gorgeous girl!”

Lettie smacked her lips together and giggled her way, and Luke had her wave with a hand before thanking Rachel again and letting her know he’d be by to visit her shop without fail.

Walking through the crowds and finding many more stalls that took his interest, Luke managed to sample some amazing hot chocolate, an alcohol free but the most amazing eggnog and some sweet and savoury breads he’d never ever even heard of. There was of course the gift stalls where there were people selling necklaces and bags and homemade soaps and perfumes, but if Luke had to be honest, it was the wide array of food that interested him the most.

Luke decided that it was most definitely time to go home when Lettie had started to whine and grumble, most likely tired and wanting to sleep and so started to make his way out of the market and towards home. He promised himself that he would come back alone in the next couple of days to see what he had missed and considered this day a success.

“Hey baby bird, did you have fun today?”

Lettie gave an unimpressed pout and snuggled her face into Luke’s chest, making tired noises. With a soft laugh, Luke wrapped both his arms around her and kissed her head, adjusting her beanie and hood. “We’ll be home soon. We’ll have something to eat and then we can both nap, how does that sound?”

Lettie gurgled to herself and stayed put, face buried in Luke’s chest and with another kiss, he set off on home. He cast his eyes over all the stalls as he walked by, making a note to come back to those he missed before Christmas was over _and_ before he went back to Oakdale to see his family. Sweet treats from Boston wouldn’t go amiss he was sure.

Glancing down at his wayward scarf, Luke realised it had gotten undone when he'd taken a break to feed Lettie some banana. So he moved over to the side to a quieter spot to adjust it, laughing when Lettie stared up at him with a frown, looking confused and wondering why they’d stopped.

“I gotta make sure my scarf is tied properly otherwise I’ll get ill like you did last month, and we don’t want that do we?”

Luke grinned down at her, happy with the scarf and that it was out of her way, before looking up and making his way home.

But his feet froze on the spot, his heart stuttering to a stop he was sure because there is no way in _hell_ he just saw the person he thought he saw, standing only a couple of feet away from him.

No.

It _had_ to be a figment of his imagination. 

Anyone could have that auburn curly hair hidden under a grey beanie, anyone could have a dark navy pea coat that fitted him perfectly, and those beautifully tapered hands and that Grecian nose uncovered from the cold. The world wasn’t this terribly cruel and amazing at the same time, was it?

His chest tightened in raw disbelief and he swore he couldn’t breathe. Seeing him felt like a knife to his gut and he hoped he didn't drop the floor with his precious cargo on board. He guessed she was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality because this wasn't real. Was it?

Nevertheless, when the person looked up at the guy that was serving and talking to him, he was laughing with his teeth on show. Luke could see those crinkles around his eyes and caught a glimpse of those _eyes_ and that was it, he was certain.

Behind the mask of the scruffy beard was Reid Oliver and there was no doubt about it.

And that was his voice. He could hear, however, he wasn't speaking English, but another language? It was something that sounded a lot like French which was confirmed when he caught sight of the signs written in French around the man's stall and because he was selling some lovely French breads and cheeses.

However,  Reid was speaking it fluently, almost as if he was a Frenchman himself.

Holy crap, he would be a liar if he didn’t find that a little bit attractive.

And then he felt a little bit sick.

 _God_ , he never even knew that Reid could speak French. In fact, he didn’t know hardly anything about him and that ached like an old and aching wound.

And here he was having an animated conversation with someone he didn't know, an actual laugh and a smile thrown in for good measure.

A whole three years later and Luke encounters the man that he’d never forgotten about, flirting with the French cheese man at a Christmas market in Boston. Okay, _possibly_ flirting.

Did this mean he lived here? Or was this a passing visit? And if he did live here, how could Luke not have known this whole time?

Life was so fucking cruel.

Luke hadn't realised that he'd walked over to him until he was only a foot away. Reid still hadn't noticed him, deep in conversation with the other man. Sadly, Luke's knowledge of French started and ended with 'Bonjour' so understanding the conversation was totally impossible.

Luke was searching for words to say, his mouth opening and closing, hoping that he formed at least one word because he had to say something, didn’t he? And then another thought occurred to him. Would Reid even want to talk to him? Would he even care? He’d never replied to those emails he’d sent, not once had he made contact in three years so why would he want to see him now, let alone talk to him?

Fuck, he was in a dilemma.

Yet his traitorous heart made his mouth form a word. Just one word.

“ _Reid_?”

It was quiet enough that it was breathless, but loud enough that Reid had stopped talking and had twisted around to stare at him, eyes wide, body tense and frozen on the spot.

After three whole years, Luke was treated with Reid’s intense blue eyes and _god_ , it stirred something awful and beautifully sweet inside of him.

He waited.

Waited for Reid to smile or say ‘hello’ or just acknowledge him with some form of communication. Luke didn’t know what he wanted but he wanted _something_.

“Bonjour?” he tried in his best non-existent French accent.

Still nothing.

Reid didn’t look happy or angry or frustrated, however his lips were a thin line, brows slightly furrowed and he looked as if the breath had been punched out of his lungs and Luke’s heart _sunk_ like a rock in water. His stomach dropped in shame and bile rose in his throat knowing he'd messed up.

This was a mistake, wasn’t it? Of course he didn’t want to see him, of course he didn’t. Why did he expect anything else? Three years was a long time and he was a blip on his radar, why would he even care? He was an idiot for thinking anything different.

Luke broke their gaze and huffed a laugh. Blinking away the moisture in his eyes, and glancing down at Lettie, he afforded Reid one more glance and took a small step backwards.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m j-just gonna go.”

Luke took a couple more steps backwards, desperate to get away before turning on his foot and walking hastily out of the market. He hugged Lettie to him and forced his heart to stop racing and to stop his face from flushing with shame and regret. How could he have been so _stupid_?

It wasn’t until a blur of blue flew past him and he felt a hand on his arm that Luke finally looked up and felt his heart stutter again.

“Reid,” he breathed, shaking his head and taking a step to the side to get away because he was stood right in front of him. “It’s fine--”

Reid sidestepped too and stood in his way, hand tightening on his arm, “I was calling for you to wait, didn’t you hear me?”

Closing his eyes, Luke frowned just wanting to get away. “Reid, just let me go.”

“I will, but not until you tell me who taught you French because you butchered the language there earlier and I think you shouldn't _ever_ speak it again. Or any foreign language for that matter."

And that was it, Luke couldn’t help but open his eyes and look at Reid whose face wasn’t giving anything away. He bit his lip, trying hard so very hard not to smile. But he failed.

“I hate you, I wasn't that bad."

Reid quirked an eyebrow. "You were, believe me. Pierre's ears were bleeding."

 _Pierre_? So they were on a first name basis. Huh. He wasn’t jealous, nope...not at all.

With a snort of a laugh, Luke scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. "Stop it, you are the most horrible man alive."

The corner of Reid's lips pulled upwards slightly, a ghost of a smile. "You haven't changed a bit come on, let's start over--without the terrible French this time."

Reid held a hand out.

"Hi.”

There was a slight hesitation and Luke wanted to be petulant, but he couldn’t, not when Reid had made the effort to talk to him. He didn’t have to run to catch up with him and stop him. Maybe he really was happy to see him.

“Hi, it’s good to see you again,” Luke said, shaking his hand firmly. The gloves he was wearing didn’t do much to stop the sparks that travelled down his spine at the touch.

“Same,” Reid replied with a nod, taking his hand and shoving it into his coat pocket to get it warm again. “I meant what I said when I said you hadn’t changed, except for the longer hair.”

Luke subconsciously curled his longer locks behind his ear, pulling his beanie back down. "Yeah, three years does that I guess."

Reid’s eyes shuttered at that, the warmth disappearing for a second and Luke wondered whether he’d said something wrong. “Umm, you have changed though,” he said instead.

When Reid frowned Luke clarified, pointing at Reid's short beard and smiling softly. "The peach fuzz? You look different. A good different--it suits you."

Reid scratched his fingers over his beard and huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I thought I’d try the look.”

“It’s nice.” Luke bounced Lettie and smiled down at her, hiding the blush he was sure was staining his cheeks. A blush that didn’t have anything to do with the cold. “How have you been?” he asked, still bouncing a fussy Lettie.

“I’ve been good--busy, but,” Reid’s smile twisted a little, nodding his head towards the baby strapped to his chest, “not as busy as you I see. Is the little polar bear yours and Noah’s?”

Luke wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “What?”

“Yours and Noah’s? The baby is yours?” Reid said again, slowly but now uncertainly.

Luke had to resist the urge to _not_ burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Reid--no, she’s not mine or Noah’s. She’s Casey’s daughter.”

The relief on Reid’s face was clear to see and he nodded to himself, slightly embarrassed. “So not yours and Noah’s.”

“No,” Luke laughed, grabbing a pacifier out of his pocket and put it in Lettie’s mouth to stop her whimpers. “I mean, Noah and I aren’t together, he’s in L.A. living his dream and I’m living here.”

“Oh okay, I see--I’m sorry.”

Luke frowned. “There’s no need to apologise, it’s fine. You wanna meet her?” He turned to the side so that Reid could see her face. “Dr. Reid Oliver, this is Scarlett Rose Hughes and Lettie, this is Dr. Reid Oliver, say ‘hi’ baby bird.”

Lettie blinked, staring up at Reid for a long moment until her face broke out into a grin and she giggled around her pacifier. Luke realised just why when he saw Reid’s face return to normal after obviously having made a funny face.

“Hi, Scarlett.” Reid waggled his fingers and touched her nose lightly with one as she giggled some more, arms reaching out for him.

“She likes you.”

Reid gave him an incredulous look. “Everyone likes me.”

Luke chuckled. “Yeah, sure they do. _Everyone_ in Oakdale loved you.”

“Which is exactly why I left,” Reid countered with a wry smile.

Luke’s smile fell away and he shifted on his feet awkwardly before meeting Reid’s gaze sadly. “Yeah, you did.”

Reid didn’t look away either, a defeated and sombre look overcoming his face and Luke wondered what that really meant.

Lettie’s soft cries broke the spell, however, and as much as Luke still wanted to talk he had to get Lettie fed and make sure she got her nap.

“Shhhh, shhhh, baby bird,” Luke murmured, dropping a kiss to her cheek and trying to think of a way that he could leave without it seeming rude and abrupt.

 _God_ , he didn’t want to go though.

“You need to go,” Reid observed, taking the words right out of Luke’s mouth. “She needs to sleep and the both of you need to get out of the cold.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry--”

Reid lifted a hand, placating him. “No, no--don’t apologise. I need to get home, too.”

So, he _did_ live here but the worst and obvious implication came to Luke’s mind and he pulled his lips in knowingly, nodding. “Oh right, I guess you have someone waiting for you at home.”

Reid narrowed his eyes, a smirk pulling at his mouth. “Are you trying to find out whether I have a boyfriend because that was a terrible way to ask.”

“No,” Luke swallowed wanting to deny it all hoping it worked. “Not at all.”

Reid exhaled deeply, his breath misting the air, still smirking. “Well, I don’t have anyone like that waiting for me, but I do have some things to do.”

“I shouldn’t have asked, it’s not--”

“Come for dinner, I'll cook," Reid blurted out, interrupting him. He looked just as spooked as Luke felt but forged on. “Tonight--is that okay? I mean, that’s if you don’t have any plans. We can talk.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, that’s if you want to. There’s no pressure,” Reid scratched idly at his chin, smiling ruefully. “After everything, I won’t be offended if you say no.

Taken aback by the suggestion, Luke couldn’t find the right words but Reid’s odd eagerness, his earnestness was endearing. “I-I don’t know--I have Lettie and I can’t impose on you like that and--”

Reid frowned. “It’s not an imposition, Luke. It would be nice to have some company tonight.”

Luke shrugged, still unsure. “I don’t know, Reid.”

“Just get to my house tonight and leave the rest to me. You’ll have nothing to worry about.”

All of this was happening so fast that Luke needed some time to find his balance again. He took a couple of slow breaths, in and out, and nodded slowly. He had nothing to lose going to dinner at Reid’s. This was a chance for them to catch up. As friends and friends only.

Right?

“Okay.”

“‘Okay’, meaning yes or…?”

Luke snorted a laugh. “Yes, I mean yes. Tonight would be good.” But then something else came to mind. “Oh but I don’t have my car--Casey took it.”

“I’ll pick you up. Here,” Reid slipped his phone out of his pocket and handed it over to Luke easily. “Put your number and address in there and I’ll come and get you.”

“ _Reid_ , you don't have to. I don’t even know where you live and I don’t want to put you out."

“Luke, just do it. If you’re here and I’m here, you can’t be too far.”

Shaking his head with mirth, Luke typed in the information and gave the phone back, hushing Lettie and whispering soothing words when she let out a soft and tired cry.

“I’ll be by at six-thirty?” Reid confirmed, a small smile visible.

“Yeah sure, it’s a date.” Luke wished he could take the words back because those had just slipped out without his permission but Reid appeared as if he hadn’t been affected by the words whatsoever and nodded in agreement.

“I don’t have my car otherwise I would’ve dropped you home,” he said apologetically.

“We’re only a ten minute walk away, less than that. Thank you though, I appreciate it.”

“It's not a problem--so, I’ll see you later?” Reid asked, almost uncertainly. There's a look on Reid's face that Luke had seen once, that time they’d played chess and he couldn’t stop babbling, when he'd said he didn’t know what else to do and then he’d put a hand to Reid’s cheek and...

“Yeah, later.”

Reid chuckled softly, throwing him a goofy salute. With his bag of cheese hanging off one arm and both hands stuffed in his pockets, he took a couple of steps backwards and walked in the direction of home, wherever that may be.

Standing there on the spot for a couple more seconds, Luke watched Reid walk away. But this time he would see him again. He would. No doubt about it.

And _holy crap_ , he didn’t know how the hell to feel about that. All of this was, surreal. There was no other word for it.

A screech and a squeal had Luke’s attention again and he pressed an apologetic kiss to Lettie's cheek.

“I’m so sorry, baby bird. My head’s messed up today.”

He quickly started walking, picking up his pace as he saw flurries of snow start to fall and hugged Lettie closer to him, the cold almost forgotten for a moment.

“Your Uncle Luke is in deep trouble, Lettie. Deep trouble.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

With Lettie fed and sleeping soundly, Luke took the time to finally freak out. He had at least four hours to waste and he didn't know how he was going to get through it. Freaking out was the best way to go about it though.

He'd seen Reid Oliver after a _whole three years_ and there was clearly no animosity, no glaring awkwardness either. Maybe Luke should've been angrier. Reid was the one who had left without a word; he was the one who hadn't made an inch of an effort to talk to him. He was the one who'd moved on and not wanted anything to do with Luke's life.

But how odd and fortuitous was it that they'd both ended up moving on to the same city? He couldn't believe that he'd seen Reid so unexpectedly, in a place so far away.

Spending the evening with him was going to be a sweet torture.

Staring up the ceiling as he lay on the sofa, fingers tapping at his chest, he played back the encounter that he and Reid had had earlier that afternoon. He looked good, happier and not as grumpy as he used to be. The smiles came easier and there was a warmth and light in his eyes which he didn’t dare think had anything to do with him. He really did look amazing.

Who wouldn’t ever have asked that man out? He had to be dating someone, there was no way he was alone and single here. Luke couldn’t stop his thoughts from straying to just how stunning he had looked; there was no other word for it. His neatly trimmed beard, his cheeks and nose red and ruddy from the cold, his hair curlier and longer than he’d ever seen it. He must have someone to come home to. Maybe he _was_ hiding a boyfriend; maybe he had moved on and didn’t want Luke to know. But no, Reid wouldn’t lie about that, would he?

Luke huffed to himself. Why should he care? They were having dinner as old acquaintances, nothing more...that’s what Luke was trying to force himself to believe anyway.

His phone rattling and ringing on the table next to the couch startled him and Luke stretched out for it, snagging it before he tumbled to the floor with it, not getting a chance to see who it was.

“Hello?”

_“Lucky!”_

And Luke didn’t need to ask who it was and breathed a sigh of relief, so glad to hear that voice on the other end of the phone.

“Rohan, you dick--how are you?”

_“Excuse me, why so rude? I didn’t insult you. I thought that you said I was beautiful!"_

“You are beautiful, but you’re also a dick because you haven’t called me in weeks and you had to pick today of all days to call me.”

_“Oh fuck, are you with some guy right now? Is that why you’re pissed? Oh man, I’m so sorry.”_

Luke laughed some more. “No, you idiot--there’s no guy. It’s just been a crazy day today, but anyway--you tell me mister, how’s the tour going? How are my guys and my girl?”

_“Lucky, don’t think I didn’t spot the subject change but I’ll indulge you anyway.”_

“Rohan, I’m not--”

“ _The tour is going great_ ,” Rohan cut in with a knowing laugh and Luke was sure he was smiling smugly right then, “ _we have_ _packed venues, the band are getting recognised and they miss you by the way. But, everything’s going to plan and things are only getting better. Honestly though, I’ve never been happier--things are going right for once, Lucky, and it’s all because of you._ ”

Luke blushed, picking at his t-shirt to distract himself. “Shut up, I didn’t do anything.”

“ _You did everything. I met you and things fell into place, Lucky--it’s why I call you what I do_.”

“You give me too much credit for nothing, Rohan--stop being so nice. You obviously want something from me.”

“ _Yes, I do--I want phone sex. It’s been ages since I’ve gotten laid and I don’t even have time for any '_ me time _'. I have needs, Lucky_.”

Rolling his eyes himself, Luke snorted a laugh, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Rohan, there are plenty of guys that would take one look at you and fall at your feet--you can have sex wherever and whenever you want.”

“ _Excuse me; I don’t have one night stands because I’m a sickeningly sweet romantic hero like in those Indian films,”_ Luke smiled at the memory of those movie nights _, “you should know that more than anyone. I need a boyfriend, not a fuck--and now, because we’re back to the start and I’m done indulging you, you’re going to tell me what’s upsetting you_.”

“Nothing is upsetting me.”

“ _Lies--I’ve known you for more than two years, give me some credit_.”

“Nothing, I--I-it’s not a big deal.”

“ _Nothing means everything, is it Scarlett or is something up with Casey_?”

Luke sighed, staring up at the ceiling again, not sure whether to say anything. “No, nothing--it’s not important.”

He heard another sigh on the other end. “ _Luke, I’m not going to force you but you can talk to me. Being your ex doesn’t make me uncomfortable about these things, we're friends now. You know that, right? You’re important to me_.”

“I know, I know--you’re important to me, too.” Luke smiled to himself, so very thankful for the friend that he’d found in Rohan. If Luke had to be honest he was dying for some moral support. “I just--don’t freak out when I tell you though.”

“ _Okay_ ,” he huffed sarcastically. “ _That totally didn’t set my heart racing in fear_.”

There was no other way to say it.

“I saw Reid today.”

There was silence on the other end for at least five seconds. Luke counted.

“ _What the fuck_?” Rohan said, enunciating every word slowly, obviously in shock.

Rohan had known about Reid from the start; what happened in Oakdale with Noah, what happened between him and Reid thereafter and the abrupt way their relationship had been cut short. Even after that, he'd had no ill feeling towards Reid whatsoever. After they’d broken up, with Rohan knowing Luke as well as he did, he'd always encouraged Luke to get in contact with Reid, to find out what had happened and so Luke knew just how much Rohan deserved to know about today.

“ _Fucking Reid Oliver, in_ _Boston_?" Rohan said, his voice soft in awe. “ _Are you sure you saw him?_ ”

“I talked to him, Ro, but god the whole thing was amazing and embarrassing at the same time and I don’t even know why.”

“ _Obviously--that’s what happens when you see someone after three years. He still hot?_ ”

“Ro!”

“ _What? That’s a total legit question I get to ask!_ ”

“Fine, okay--he did look good, like _really_ good but Ro, I should hate him so much but I can’t.” Fisting at his own hair, he made a sound of annoyance. “He’s the one that left and if I hadn’t have gone up to him at the market, he wouldn’t have ever known I lived in the same city as him. I can’t help but think if he’d seen me and if I hadn’t have seen him, would he have done the same?”

That’s it, that’s the thing that was making Luke feel so uneasy about all of this. That’s what had him worried. Would Reid have ever come to say anything to him if he’d seen him? Would he have ignored him again? His heart hurt at the thought but it was possible.

“ _You can’t answer that question because you’re not Reid, so don’t stress yourself out about it. You talked to him, right?_ ”

“Yeah, we did--thought Lettie was mine and Noah’s which was weird and then invited me for dinner tonight.”

Rohan burst out laughing. “ _He invited you for dinner? Like out to a restaurant or?_ ”

“No, at his house. But did you not hear the part where I said he thought Noah and I had a baby together?”

“ _I heard it and chose to ignore it because he invited you for dinner after finding out that you and Noah weren’t still together and oh my god, this is good. That means he still wants you, still thinks about you."_

“But we were never together, we’d broken up--”

“ _You knew that and so did Noah. But not Reid, remember you told me the same?_ ”

Luke scoffed, sitting up and in utter confusion. “Yeah, I’d assumed that he had thought that but he couldn’t have believed that this whole time, could he? When we last talked he told me face to face that he didn’t leave his job for me but since then, I don’t know--maybe my assumption was always right.”

“ _It’s possible--and it sounds like Reid believed the same after what you told me_.”

“God,” Luke groaned, slapping a hand over his face. “This is all so messed up.”

“ _Hey, it’ll all be okay_ ,” Rohan told him, voice soft. “ _Don’t stress out--just take tonight a step at a time_.”

“But I don’t know what to do here. I’m so angry and hurt that he left the way he did but then seeing him today made me forget about it. He wasn’t an ass to me and he didn’t act like he didn’t want to see me and I--”

“ _You still love him, Lucky_.”

Luke scrunched his toes in the soft rug beneath his feet and ignored the pang in his heart at hearing those words. “I don’t know about that.”

“ _You haven’t said it out loud, but I know you do and you always will_.”

“Ro--”

“ _Don’t give up on him, and don’t let him give up on you. If whatever you’ve told me up until this point is true--you have to listen to him and understand why he left. There could be more to the story than you could know_.”

“And you know, huh?”

“ _I don’t know shit, but all I know is that he wants to see you tonight. He could’ve organised a dinner any day, but he asked for tonight, Luke. I have a feeling he couldn’t bear to be away from you any longer than he has been_.”

Luke felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment, his knuckles white where he was holding his phone.

“ _Believe what you want, but remember that Reid left his job, left Oakdale for a reason that didn’t have anything to do with whatever was going on at the time with the hospital. It had a hell of a lot to do with you._ ”

Blowing out a breath, Luke swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. “I guess I’ll find out tonight, huh?”

“ _Yeah, you will. Like I said, take it a step at a time--don’t over think anything. You’ll be okay_.”

“I’ll try. Thank you for--you know, everything.”

“ _Shut up, no need for all that_.”

“Rohan--”

“ _Luke, don’t be an idiot. You’re my friend and I care about you and because of that I need a favour_.”

“What’s that?”

“ _My mom told me that you’re gonna go and see her next week before Christmas so let me know when you do because she sucks at Skype and wants to know that I’m really alive_.”

Luke let out a surprised laugh, shaking off the earlier feelings. “Who does she think is calling her then?”

Rohan chuckled. “ _Someone who sounds like me? I don’t know, man--you know what she’s like. I should be in Germany next week with the band, so just drop me an email and we’ll figure things out. I’m not back till late January so she’s freaking out_.”

“You’re her son; of course she’ll be worried.”

“ _Ugh, stop sucking up to her. I don’t even know why she loves you so much, you broke my heart_.”

“I’m just that lovable.”

“ _Fuck you_.”

“You wish,” Luke threw back.

“ _Why do I even call you_?”

“Because I’m the only friend you have that likes you.”

 _“Ha ha, no--I don’t like you at all. But, can you do one more thing for me_?”

Hearing the baby monitor crackle, Luke rose and padded his way over to the dining table where he’d forgotten it and picked it up. “Yes, Rohan--what do you want now?”

Rohan cleared his throat. “ _Lucky--babe, what are you wearing_?” he asked hotly, voice low and seductive for obvious reasons.

Luke was amused but knew what he was playing at. “Ro, I’m not having phone sex with you.”

“ _Babe, I need you so bad_.”

“Shut up.”

“ _Okay, sorry--just kidding. Let me know how tonight goes, okay? I’m only a phone call away_.”

“Thank you, Rohan--seriously. You’re amazing.”

“ _Not as great as Reid though, right_?”

“That’s to be seen.”

“ _Ahhh, you flatter me. Take care of yourself, Case and Lettie too, ‘kay_?”

“I will.”

They said their goodbyes after that and promised to see each other soon. Luke brought the baby monitor over with him and lay back down on the couch with that and his phone pressed to his chest, still trying to make sense of everything that had happened today and what Rohan had told him.

Luke had no clue what was going to happen tonight but if there was something he was grateful for, it was that he was going to have Lettie with him.

Other than that, all he had to do was make sure he didn’t make a fool out of himself and make sure he kept his feelings in check.

And that was going to be totally easy.

Yup.

***

“And there we go." Luke pressed the last of Lettie’s onesie buttons closed and leant down to blow a raspberry on her stomach, making her giggle hysterically. “You're all dressed and your Uncle Luke hasn’t even gotten changed, baby bird. Who said we were going to have a water fight, huh? You should've warned me.”

Once Lettie had woken up after her nap, both her and Luke had played some more and before he knew it, it was almost time for Reid to come and pick them up. Knowing that they wouldn’t get back till late, Luke decided to give Lettie her bath early and had gotten her changed into her reindeer pyjama onesie. Casey had bought that and dozens more outfits as soon as the Christmas items had started arriving in store. She was going to outgrow them all in weeks but Casey didn't seem to care.

However, during the bath, Lettie had had a little too much fun splashing water everywhere and had soaked his t-shirt in the process. And now he’d been left with hardly any time to get things ready to take to Reid’s or get ready himself, consequently, he was rushing around the house like maniac.

Going back downstairs, Luke put Lettie on her play mat, making sure she had Derek the wolf and a couple more toys to distract herself with, and started packing extra clothes and diapers and some food for her dinner, as well as some formula. Never had he felt more harried but as long as it took his mind off what was to come, he was happy to feel stressed out about something as small as taking care of baby things.

With Lettie’s things packed into a backpack which doubled up as a baby bag, Luke realised he was still wearing the wet t-shirt and pulled it off, throwing it straight into the washing machine.

Catching sight of the sweet treats he’d bought from the market sitting on the dining table, he remembered that he should take at least something for Reid as a small gift. It would be rude not to. He rooted through the bag and picked out the fruity stollen and hoped that Reid would love it as much as he did.

Thinking he had more than enough time to get ready, Luke was on his way to pick Lettie up so that he could go and get changed upstairs and not have to leave her alone when he heard the doorbell. Luke froze on the spot, his heart hammering against his chest in nervousness.

“Oh crap.”

Was it six thirty already? How had the time flown? He didn’t know whether to get changed or get the door, but the decision was made for him when he heard the doorbell ring again. Without thinking, he ran to the door and flung it open before realising that he wasn’t wearing anything on top, his chest bare and naked. And crap, it was freezing cold.

Reid looked just as shocked as him on the other side of the door and gave him a wide eyed once over, his expression unreadable. He was wearing his glasses now though.

Whoa.

That was another shock to the system because Luke had never seen Reid wear them; he didn’t even know he needed them. They were a nice designer pair he could tell, frameless glasses that really did bring out his eyes. He looked hot and _oh god_...Reid was going to be the death of him.

But seriously, the past really had come to haunt him today.

“This time you had to know you wouldn’t be opening the door to room service,” Reid said confusedly, but also looking a little amused because Luke had just stood there staring at him for a full five seconds like a fool.

Luke shook himself and hesitated, scolding himself at his own stupidity. “I just--there was bath time and Lettie decided she likes playing with water a lot,” he explained, “and I was just going to get changed before--”

“I rang the doorbell,” Reid finished for him with a chuckle. "I'm sorry."

Luke was about to reply when he felt a tug to his sweatpants. His hand flew to the waistband to keep them on since his sweatpants were riding low and close to falling down. Looking down, he found the culprit. Lettie was using him to drag herself up to stand on her feet from behind his legs.

“Baby bird, you nearly pulled my sweatpants down,” Luke told her, embarrassed. She gave him a toothy grin in response, unaware of what she’d almost done and darted her gaze back to their guest, eyes wide in awe.

“Hello, Scarlett,” Reid said happily, smiling wide. Lettie giggled and almost dropped to the floor once more, pulling on Luke’s sweatpants to keep her balance and as good as pulled them down. This time however, Luke saw Reid’s gaze dart to his further exposed skin and then quickly back to Lettie, swallowing hard, his cheeks tinged pink. But Luke wasn’t sure whether it was because of the cold or because of something else.

Luke broke out of his thoughts when he realised he was shivering from the cold and holy crap, he hadn’t even invited Reid in yet. The hair on his arms was standing to attention and another shiver wracking through his body. He scooped Lettie up in his arms before she did manage to expose him and cause further embarrassment and beckoned Reid inside.

“I’m sorry, come inside, come on--all of us are gonna end up like popsicles if we stand here any longer.”

Reid wiped his feet on the mat and made his way inside, Luke watching as Reid eyed the photos in the hallway and the mess that was their front room since Lettie had decided to drag all her toys out again. 

He closed the front door with a quiet click and followed Reid into the front room, trying to keep a squirming Lettie from falling who was eager to go and pester Reid he was sure. Carefully setting Lettie on her play mat again, he folded his arms across his chest observing Reid as he drank in everything around him with a small content smile. Luke didn’t have the heart to distract him, but no, he had clothes to put on and they needed to leave.

He got Reid’s attention by clearing his throat and threw him a smile, “Umm, can you just keep an eye on Lettie if that’s okay? I’m gonna go and get dressed and then we can leave. I’m sorry about not being ready on time.”

Reid rolled his eyes and took his hat off, shoving it into his coat pocket. He scrunched his fingers through his curls to get them to untangle and sighed. “Luke, stop. You go and get changed, and I’ll keep an eye on Scarlett.” He bent down on his haunches and held out a hand palm up for her, “I think we’re going to be great friends. Right, Scarlett?”

Lettie crawled over to him immediately and sat back on her bottom before pulling at Reid’s fingers, squealing when Reid bent them backwards and forwards so she couldn’t grab them.

Luke’s lips pulled upwards into a fond smile. “Are you sure? I don't know if babies are your thing.”

“Luke,” Reid met his gaze and scoffed amusedly, happy to let Lettie play with his fingers, “I might be a neurosurgeon but that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of a baby, we’ll be fine...go.”

Luke took a deep breath and nodded, “Okay, two minutes tops,” he promised.

Reid didn’t say another word and shooed Luke away. He dropped onto the floor himself and crossed his legs, carefully holding her hands as Lettie climbed over his legs to get close to him.

She’d fallen for him too, that was obvious.

Chancing one more quick nervous glance, Luke took the stairs two at a time and got ready as quick as he could, trying not to think too much about anything. Especially about the fact that Reid Oliver was currently in his front room taking care of a baby.

Once dressed, in a black sweater and his favourite pair of jeans, Luke steeled himself for the night to come. He had no need to be nervous. It was just dinner he told himself into the mirror as he fixed his hair. That’s it. 

When he made it downstairs, he found Lettie already buckled into her car seat, beanie on her head and already trying to kick off the blanket Reid had draped over her. Reid twisted around when he heard Luke's footsteps and gestured to the car seat. “Hope it’s okay I strapped her in.”

Luke grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch and put it on, grinning easily. “Yeah, of course it’s okay. Thanks."

Reid only nodded in response and put his hat back on. He chuckled when he saw Lettie had managed to kick her blanket all the way off, she was obviously thinking it was a game. “Can I take anything else for you? I’ll get this set up in the car in the meantime.”

“No, nothing else--just the one backpack,” Luke frowned when he couldn’t see Derek the wolf anywhere around, “and Derek, we need Derek.”

“Derek?” Reid questioned.

“It’s her favourite toy,” Luke told him, searching for the stuffed animal around the front room. He made a sound of triumph when he did, handing it over to Lettie who had her arms wide open for him already.

“There you go, baby bird. Don’t you let go of Derek now, okay?” Lettie babbled back happily in response, gnawing at his ear with glee.

“Derek,” Reid murmured. “That’s a weird name.”

“I know, I thought it was weird too,” Luke laughed, shouldering the backpack. “That was the name on the collar so it stuck. She can’t live without him now.”

“I’m sure Derek can’t live without her either,” Reid said laughing lightly, bending down and tucking the blanket in tightly around her.

“It really is a special relationship,” Luke confessed. Reid laughed some more as he rose to his feet and picked up the car seat along with Lettie. “We’re all good to go?”

Luke nodded, wanting to hear more of that laugh than he ever thought possible. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They left the house in a hurry, the snow had started falling again and Reid was quick to fit the car seat in a car, wanting to get out of the cold and did it without difficulty. Reid's car was a surprise, a car that he never thought he would ever buy. It was a hybrid family size car so Luke thought it best not to comment or ask about anything that’ll probably upset him anyway.

He took the front seat, assured by Reid that the journey to his house was short and off they drove, really and truly into unknown territory.

***

They pulled up outside the house around ten minutes later. Luke had expected Reid to be living in a condo or a flat but no, he had a home and it wasn’t a small one either. The house had a small front yard that had stone steps that led up to a blue door with flowers on either side. It was definitely not what he'd been expecting. The journey there had been filled with Lettie's voice and also Reid's. The whole thing had been ridiculously adorable, with Lettie speaking her baby babble, Reid agreeing with it all and answering her questions and asking some of his own. 

Conversation between the both of _them_ however, had been a little stilted. Luke didn’t want to think about that too much though, it was to be expected. Three years apart couldn’t be wiped away with a snap of the fingers so there was bound to be some awkwardness between them.

“Before we go inside, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Luke snapped out of his thoughts, heart skipping a beat, and twisted around to Reid whose face creased with tension. He forced that green monster right down and tried not to think the worst. “Umm, sure. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Reid said with a weird smile. “It’s that, I have a dog.”

That was completely out of the left field. Reid had a dog. He definitely felt as if he’d slipped into an alternate universe.

Luke’s eyebrows were up to his hairline he was sure. “You have a _dog_?”

“Yes, and he’s good with people, especially with kids but I wanted to make sure you were okay with having him around. I can drop him off with my neighbour if you’d rather not have him around.”

Glancing over his seat at Lettie who was swinging Derek around by his ear, he cleared his throat. “No, I mean yes, it’s okay. Lettie isn’t scared of them, she loves them. We have a neighbour who has one that she sees often.”

Looking a hell of a lot more relieved, Reid nodded once sharply. “That’s good to know. Come on, let’s get inside.”

Reid was quick to take the backpack out of Luke’s hand as they walked their way over, their shoes crunching through the fresh snow. Luke had a hold of Lettie who was gurgling her baby babble yet again and still chewing on Derek’s ear; blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil going on within her Uncle Luke.

Reid was quick to unlock the door and held it wide open, hurrying them inside before closing the door behind him. This time it was Luke’s turn to drink in his atmosphere, to take in _Reid’s home_. There were minute traces of Reid around everywhere. He had a couple of pairs of shoes near the door, a coat rack that held two more coats, hats and some leashes for his dog.

Reid led him a little ways down and into the front room and set Luke’s backpack by the couch.

“Sit down, relax and I’ll be back in a minute,” Reid said, taking off his hat and coat. “Can I take yours for you?”

Luke nodded, words not coming easy and put Lettie down, shrugging off his coat and handing it over to him. He shot him another soft smile and darted his gaze to Lettie who'd become suspicious and grinned at her to reassure her.

“I’ll be back,” Reid said again, softly, and Luke couldn’t help but smile in his direction as he left.  

Taking a deep breath, he let himself take in everything around him. The front room had bookcases lining the walls either side of the quaint fireplace and it was filled with not only books but with DVD’s, too. There was a small Christmas tree by the television, adorned beautifully with twinkling lights and red and gold tinsel with matching baubles.

The couch looked comfy, a dark brown buttery leather that was strewn with cushions and a throw, all a little mismatched but it all somehow worked.  There were a also couple of framed photographs on the fireplace, old, almost sepia toned pictures of his parents and him it looked like. He lightly traced a picture of a younger Reid sat on top of an old Mustang, his father beside him, smiling the same crinkly eyed smile that Reid had now.

The short time they’d spent together had always been about the neuro wing or him; never had Luke made the effort to find out more about Reid’s past, his family. It had been selfish of him really and he hoped he hadn’t lost his chance. In any case, he was here now and Reid seemed more content and happy than he’d ever imagined. He was still his usual snarky self though, acted like a know it all and fired back answers that were both charming and annoying

Maybe this was a Reid that was truly happy. And if that was the case, why would Reid even need him in his life now?

Lettie wailed from her car seat, evidently feeling neglected again and so Luke made his way over and crouched down, getting rid of her blanket and her little beanie.

“Hey baby bird, I’m sorry,” he murmured, unclipping the straps and lifting her into his arms, leaving her wolf inside. He dropped a lingering kiss to her head and watched her blue eyes widen at her surroundings, fingers curled tightly into his sweater. Luke heard the pitter patter of feet on the floorboards and Reid talking in low but soft tones, wondering what was going on.

A sharp bark had Luke spin around, startled, to find a little dog by his feet, staring up at them both.

“Ichabod, sit.”

The fluffy white and grey dog, that looked a lot like Lettie’s Derek but smaller, sat down, tail thumping the floor happily, ears pointed upwards as Reid made his way closer.

“This is Ichabod,” Reid told them, “and Ichabod; these are my friends so you will behave, okay?”

Ichabod gave another sharp bark in acknowledgment of his words and Luke bit his lip, trying not to laugh out loud. “ _Ichabod_?”

Reid sent him a look full of exasperation, hands on his hips. “I didn’t name him.”

Luke chuckled, carefully getting on his knees and turned Lettie around so she was resting against his chest. She was squirming to get down and play with a real life wolf, wariness forgotten as well as poor Derek, but Luke kept a tight hold on her. Ichabod really did look husky-ish but he was definitely too small to be one. “What kind of dog is he?” he asked, reaching out and stroking his head.

“A pomsky.”

This time, Luke burst out laughing because a ‘pomsky’? If there ever was a dog that Luke imagined Reid with, it wouldn’t be this.

“He wasn’t mine,” Reid drawled, as if he’d had to tell this story hundreds of times. “A patient of mine left him to me in her will and I couldn’t deny her last wish. So now he lives here.”

“That's really sweet of you."

"I'm not sweet."

"Sweet enough that a patient thought you could take care of this gorgeous thing. But god, he is adorable, aren’t you Ichy? Yes you are,” Luke cooed, scratching over his head. Ichabod padded even closer and leant his front feet on Luke’s knees, reaching up to Lettie who was trying to touch him too.

“Daaaaaa,” she squealed, giggling when Ichabod licked her hand.

“This definitely wasn’t the kind of dog I ever imagined you with,” Luke said, laughing as Ichabod nuzzled his nose into Lettie’s hand.

“Neither did I,” Reid said with a sigh, grinning hard. Luke was mesmerised for a moment, that grin was everything he had never known he’d missed or ever wanted to see. “But life always throws you a curveball when you least expect it.”

“Yeah,” Luke huffed knowingly. “It does.”

Reid glanced away down to the floor for a moment, face unreadable, before meeting his gaze again. “Now that I see you’ve become well acquainted, I’m going to go and finish up dinner.”

Luke’s mouth fell open in surprise. “You cooked?”

“You don’t think I can?”

“I thought it would be a frozen meal, take out or some cereal to be honest.”

Reid quirked an eyebrow amusedly. “You think so little of me?”

“No, it’s just--Reid Oliver cooking a meal? It’s not something I’d ever imagined.”

Reid smirked. “I found there were better ways to pass your spare time and since I love food, cooking was the obvious choice.”

“I shouldn’t have expected anything else. I mean, Reid and _food_? That’s a relationship that’s going to survive eons.”

Reid laughed heartily, scratching idly at his collarbone. “At least it keeps me satisfied every day.”

With a smug smile, Reid left the room leaving Luke rooted to the spot, cheeks flushing red. There was no way Luke had missed that obvious innuendo and a chuckle bubbled out of him anyway that made Lettie stare at him as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I know, baby bird,” Luke kissed her nose and scratched Ichabod under his chin. “I can’t help the way I feel, but a step at a time, right? One step at a time.”

***

Dinner was a loud and boisterous affair, so very different to how their car journey had been. The only thing that hadn’t changed was Lettie trying to talk and Reid trying to engage her in conversation. The only true and full words Casey and Luke had ever gotten out of her had been variations ‘Dada’ and ‘Baba’, definitely not more than that, but Reid was trying his hardest to get her to say something other than that. Ichabod had had his dinner before them and was running around the open plan kitchen and dining room, hyper after having eaten and wanting someone to play with.

But there was no playing till they were done with dinner, and well, if Reid had learnt to cook this well after three years, he wasn’t sure how much more he could improve. He’d roasted a rack of lamb encrusted with fennel and rosemary, the meat succulent and melt in the mouth, and he'd combined it with some truffled polenta and fennel slaw.

He was in heaven.

Luke hadn’t eaten anything so good in a long time but it wasn’t as if he never cooked at home. Since Lettie had been born they’d cut down on take outs and frozen foods, but still, they’d never had the time to make anything like this.  

Reid had also gone out of his way and made something for Lettie, too. Some fresh vegetables blitzed up with some fish was all it took for Lettie to finish eating quicker than she ever had. Luke had sat Lettie in his lap as he fed her, eating forkfuls of his own dinner in between. Reid had insisted on taking care of her whilst he ate, but Luke declined the offer knowing that the food wouldn’t be as tasty if reheated.

“That’s it, Reid--you’re going to cook for us every day,” Luke confessed, wiping at Lettie’s mouth. “She’s not going to want to eat anything made by me or Casey anymore.”

“I’ll just move in then, shall I?”

“Fine with me, you can take the couch.”

“What about Ichy?”

Luke smirked at the nickname he knew Reid had given his dog and shrugged. “Ichy can sleep in my room.”

“Ummm,” Reid hummed as he frowned almost laughing again, chewing on his food before he spoke. “I think I’ll get back to you on that. There’s something not right about this situation.”

Luke grinned and handed Lettie the pot of chopped up fruit he’d prepared for her at home which she was quick to dive into and eat herself, getting her hands and face messy again.

“Speaking of Casey, where is he? You said he took your car?”

“Mmhmm, he's driven to New York for a job. He’s a sports therapist.”

Reid finished the last of his polenta and his water, deep in thought. “Does he work at Mass General?” he asked eventually.

Luke nodded, baffled as to how Reid knew. “Yeah, he does--how’d you know?”

Reid wiped his hands with a napkin, putting it on his empty plate. “I think I’ve seen him around but I didn’t know him too well so I couldn’t be sure.”

“So you’re there?”

 _“_ It’s just been over fourteen months _._ I’m teaching a couple of classes at Harvard, too.”

“Wow, Harvard,” Luke breathed, thoroughly impressed. But he really shouldn’t have expected anything less even though it was crazy to think that they’d never run into each other this whole time. “I thought you hated small talk and people in general, how are you teaching classes?”

Reid chuckled, leaning his elbows on the table, hands under his chin. “Let’s just say I’ve become better at it. I talk _to_ the students, they ask me questions, I’ve become tolerant of the stupid questions, and then I grade their work. It’s simple.”

Luke sighed, honest to god amazed. “You really have changed.”

“I’ve had to,” Reid said solemnly, a weird wariness overcoming him. “The way I was--it was detrimental to me. Time changes people, Luke. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.”

Luke heard Lettie make a sound of annoyance and realised why when he saw the pot of fruit was empty. He quickly handed her the beaker of water, mind racing with what Reid had said, trying to make sense of it all.

“You’re right, change is a part of life and it can be good. And I guess I have this little girl sitting in my lap that’s proof of that,” he said, smiling down at Lettie who leant her head back and grinned up at him, beaker in hand.

“You’re a lucky man,” Reid admitted.

“Hey, you have Ichabod, that makes you a lucky man in my eyes too,” Luke countered.

Reid hummed in agreement. “Ichabod makes this lonely man’s life more bearable, so I’ll count myself lucky in that respect.”

Luke didn’t miss the words he said, his heart hurting something awful at the thought, but he saw Reid realise he’d said too much, watching as he brushed a hand over his face and forced a smile instead.

“Let’s leave the dishes in the sink; I’ll wash up tomorrow.”

Luke followed Reid as he rose and gathered their empty plates, Lettie on his hip. “No, Reid--let me wash up, it’s the least I can do.”

“No,” Reid grabbed a soft paper towel, wetting it slightly at the sink and stood in front of Luke. Setting Lettie's beaker aside, he cleaned her up swiftly and gently as Ichabod stood patiently by his feet, desperate to play with Lettie it seemed.

“The dishes can wait; I’ve got the day off tomorrow.” He threw the dirty napkin away and started gathering the rest of the dishes. “You go and sit down, give Ichy some attention like the kid he is, and I’ll be with you in five minutes.”

“Are you sure, Reid?”

Reid stared at him incredulously. “Luke, yes, I’m sure. Go on, go.”

And who was Luke to _not_ heed his words. With a shake of his head, he left the kitchen, Ichabod following close behind and Lettie was leaning over in his arms wanting to get a hold of Ichabod all to herself.

“Baby bird, just give me one minute and I’ll let you and Ichy play, okay? What about poor Derek, huh? You’ve forgotten all about him.” Lettie just frowned and pouted, squirming to get away from his arms to Ichabod.

Luke laughed, pondering whether the stuffed wolf was ever going to get a second look now that she’d seen a real life Derek today. He got rid of her bib, glad that her clothes weren’t totally ruined and sat down with her on the couch, Ichabod jumping up and joining them.

Luke could feel himself relaxing more and more in Reid’s presence as the evening went on. Not talking about Oakdale and the way things had ended with them had a lot to do with that. Reid hadn’t asked about the neuro wing he’d left behind, not once, so Luke questioned what it was that was holding him back. Reid wasn’t one to hold back from anything.

That was the Reid he had known.

As promised, Reid was back in five minutes, pulling down the sleeves of his dark green Henley he’d rucked up as they were eating, adjusting the glasses on his nose.

“Is Ichabod behaving?”

“I think you should be asking whether Lettie’s behaving, because she’s a menace right now. You know how we said she can’t live without Derek? I think that situation has changed dramatically.”

“She’s just excited to have a real dog to play with.” He padded his way over to couch sat down on the opposite end. Luke still had a tight hold on Lettie, scared she would fall with the overabundance of pillows around her.

“Let her be, I’ve got her,” Reid reassured him, gesturing for Ichabod to get down, and he obeyed without a complaint.

Luke let her go on all fours and she crawled as fast as she could towards Reid, screeching happily when she'd made it to the other side and over the obstacles of cushions. Reid grasped a hold of her under her arms and lifted her in air.

Reid moved her from side to side, slowly and carefully, smiling along with her and making funny faces. “I know you probably want me to throw you around but you’ve just eaten, so we’ll stick to you being the baby bird Luke calls you. How about that?”

Lettie screeched happily in reply, legs kicking and flailing, before Reid lowered her slowly, close enough that Lettie grabbed a hold of his face and rubbed her face happily against his bearded cheek.

Reid hadn't expected that at all by the surprised laugh that burst out of him and so indulged her for a little longer. Luke would be lying if he wasn't a slightly jealous of Lettie in that moment.

“I’m sorry about earlier today when I saw you. It was a surprise and it took a while to comprehend it all--I wasn’t ignoring you.”

Luke blinked, replaying Reid's words back since he’d zoned out with fantasies about Reid’s beard. Wow, he was a goner.

“No, that’s okay. I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk to me so the fact that I managed to say something surprised to me too."

Reid nodded, letting Lettie twist around so she could slide down his legs and onto the rug where Ichabod was waiting.

"You caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to see you when you called my name."

"Yeah,” Luke carded a hand through his hair, feeling nervous all of a sudden. “I thought it was a dream, especially since you were spouting out French and looked a little different.”

Reid smiled, eyes on Lettie and Ichabod. “I’m happy you came to talk to me.”

“Really?”

A slight crease emerged between Reid’s brows at his tone. “Of course.”

“Would you have come up to me if you’d seen me and I hadn’t seen you?” The question slipped out of Luke unintentionally. It was his doubt, his insecurities coming to the fore because _this_ was what he’d been worried about all along. Would Reid have gone running like the last time when he’d said his name? Would he have ignored him and walked away?

Reid looked hurt at the question, eyes shuttering closed for a second and body tense before he met his gaze for a long moment. “I would have, even if you don’t believe me.”

“I do believe you,” Luke said without a beat, without a doubt.

Reid scratched at his beard, laughing wryly. “Luke, you weren’t always a good liar.”

That stung a little too close but he had to convince him. “I’m not lying, Reid. I’m not.”

He shuffled a little closer, hand lifting to comfort or to just touch, he didn’t know, but it hovered there awkwardly before he dropped it, fingers clenching in the cushions instead. Reid had his eyes firmly on Lettie who was rolling around on the rug with Ichabod, her giggles echoing around the room. His face had lost the warmth from earlier and _fuck_ , nothing was making sense and Luke didn’t know how to fix it.

“Reid,” Luke pleaded, wanting to reach out once more but Reid shook his head as he took a breath, shooting him a smile, a small but genuine one.

“Let’s forget about it. We’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

Luke concurred and didn’t say another word; scared he’d say something that would ruin whatever tentative _something_ they’d started back up again. Because being _friends_? He wasn't quite sure if that could ever work.

The phone ringing broke the light tension that had shrouded them and it wasn’t until Reid pointed out that it had to be his phone ringing that Luke grabbed it out of his pocket. This time he had a look at the caller id and thanked the powers above for making sure Casey’s timing was right for once.

“Is it okay if I take this just outside?” Luke asked, hoping that Reid wouldn’t mind.

Reid sent him a look that screamed ‘are you stupid?’ and rolled his eyes. That was all Luke needed. Clambering off the couch, he swiped his thumb over the screen and stood in the hallway, forehead resting against the wall.

“Hey, Case.”

“ _Dude, you good? I only just managed to catch a break and grab some dinner so thought I should call_.”

“Good thing you did, was the drive okay?”

“ _It was great, but man, you, me and Lettie have to come to New York for Christmas at least once. It’s absolutely crazy and awesome_.”

“We will, that’ll be great fun.”

“ _Next year, huh_? So, _what’s my baby girl doing_? _She missing her Daddy_?”

Luke peeked around the doorway to see Lettie standing on her two feet, Reid holding her steady before letting her go with Ichabod keeping guard. She stood for a total of two seconds and ready to take a step before falling on her butt. Reid was full of praises for her regardless and Lettie clapped her hands together happily, congratulating herself.

“She is currently trying to stand up on her own with Dr. Reid Oliver’s help.”

“ _My baby is_? _How is she doing_ , _no wait_ - _what the hell_? _Did you just say Reid Oliver_?” came Casey’s incredulous reply.  

And so Luke explained it all, as briefly as he could. He told him about the meeting at the market, the subsequent dinner date and specifically about the fact that they worked at the same hospital.

“ _I need you to not hate me when I tell you something_ ,” Casey asked, sounding edgy.

“What is it?”

“ _I knew_.”

“Knew about what?”

“ _About Reid being in Boston_.”

Casey had to be lying. “Are you kidding me?”

“ _No, look--_ _I looked him up when I heard someone talk about a Reid Oliver during a session and then I saw him a couple days later_.”

Luke shouldn’t feel betrayed but the idea that Casey had known this whole time still hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“ _Luke, it’s not that I didn’t want to--I really did. But the timing just seemed wrong. Please don’t hate me_.”

“I wouldn't ever Casey, don’t think that.”

“ _Dude, I didn’t know how deep your feelings ran and if you knew that Reid was around, you would always be wary. I didn’t want that for you_.”

“I get that, but you couldn’t have known how I would’ve reacted if you’d told me.”

“ _Okay, how about you tell me how you were feeling when you came back from the market? Were you totally fine with it? Or was the idea that Reid was around you this whole time making you nervous and excited and sad all at the same time? Tell me it wouldn’t have affected you if I’d told you that the man you haven’t gotten over for three years lived in the same city as us_.”

It all made sense. Every single word of it. Casey had only been looking out for him. He couldn't fault him for that. “You’re right, Case--I’m just really overwhelmed right now.”

“ _Alright, think about this. If tonight was a weird way of the world saying, here he is, here's the man who after three years hasn’t left your mind, here he is and he’s brought you to his home, wanted to spend time with you. Would you give that man a chance again? Would you let yourself take that chance again_?”

“It’s all too much--we haven’t even talked about anything yet.”

“ _Then talk, have it out now because the longer you leave it, the longer it’s going to fester_.”

Earlier was proof of how awkward things had gotten when they'd only touched on the past. “I'm scared.”

“ _You're worried that now that you've found him he’s going to run away_.”

“Yeah, exactly that.”

“ _Well then, you just have to make sure you catch him before he gets too far_.”

“Case, what would I do without you? You and Lettie.”

“ _You’d be fine, but I wouldn’t, and neither would Lettie. You’re not getting rid of us anytime soon_.”

“That's good to know.”

“ _Alright then, now make sure you send me some pictures of my baby girl later and I'll Skype chat with you tomorrow_.”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“ _And hey, Luke--it’ll be okay. It’s Christmas, man, it's the time for miracles_.”

“You sound like a Lifetime movie.”

“ _Oh shut up, they're the best and you know it_.”

"Fine, I give up," Luke laughed.

" _As you should, always the winner, forever the winner. Call me when you get home when and if you wanna talk things out_."

Luke felt himself overwhelmed with emotion. He really did have the most amazing friends. First Rohan and now Casey. He truly was lucky. "Thank you."

They were quick to say their goodbyes after that, Luke taking a moment to gather his wayward feelings and doubts. There was nothing left to it, he had to have this out with Reid, once and for all.

Reid glanced up when he joined them, Lettie bouncing up and down with Reid holding her hands so she wouldn’t fall.

“Everything okay?” he enquired, looking concerned.

Luke slipped his phone back into his pocket, fixing his hair. “Yeah, it’s all good. It was just Casey checking up on Lettie and me.”

“I see.” Reid adjusted his grip on Lettie, facing him again a second later. “He cares for you.”

“He does.” Luke closed the distance and sat down on the rug next to him, letting Ichabod climb into his lap and get some attention, “and I care for him--I love him a lot.”

Reid cleared his throat, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “So, are you and Casey... _together_?”

Luke had to laugh again because Reid really did jump to the craziest conclusions. “Is that your way of trying to find out if I have a boyfriend?” he asked, leaning in and waggling his eyebrows.

Reid blew out a breath, chuckling. “No, but it’s a reasonable assumption to make.”

“Like the assumption you made about Noah and me?”

Reid looked even more embarrassed and oddly a little sad. “Exactly like that.”

“Okay, doctor. How about we clear this up? You’re single?” Reid nodded and Luke pointed to himself, “and I’m very, very single. And have I been for a while. Any more questions?”

Reid rolled his eyes, making sure he had a firm grip on Lettie as she took a couple of steps towards him. “No,” he threw him a smirk, “not right now anyway.”

Luke sighed heavily, dramatically, his lips pulling up at the corners involuntarily. “Wow, you have questions?" Reid laughed and Luke was powerless not to laugh along. "Wow, Reid Oliver--you really have changed."

“Not as much as you think,” Reid admitted. “Not so much.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologise for the multi-fandom references...but I really won't! ;)
> 
> Also, in case you didn't know what a pomsky is, [this is it!](http://www.pomskypuppies.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Pomsky-Puppy.jpg)


	3. Chapter 3

They still hadn’t talked. Not yet.

Lettie had been the centre of their attention as had Ichabod after that. They’d put on a movie in the meantime but Luke could tell that it wasn’t long until they’d had to have this out. Everything was just bubbling under the surface and there was no doubt that this dam had to burst.

However they’d talked about other things, safer things. Their work, their friends (apparently Reid had actually made a few friends in Boston) and Luke told him about his novel, his foundation and how Lettie came into his life and changed everything for the better.

“You seem happier and more confident now, Luke,” Reid told him sincerely, before realising he sounded a little patronising. “I mean--not that you weren’t before--”

“No, you’re right--I am, I really am.”

It wasn’t long until Lettie became fussy, crawling straight over to Luke before bursting into tears with her arms held high, face red and splotchy.

“Oh baby bird, are you tired?” Luke scooped her up and got to his feet, bouncing her up and down gently in his arms and pressed light kisses to her hair. “How about your bottle and then beddy byes, huh? That sound good?”

Another wail and a wet sob had him in action and rooting through his bag for some formula, he made to go to the kitchen, but Reid was quick to take it out of his hands with a quiet, “I got it,” and headed to the kitchen with Ichabod following close behind him.

Derek the wolf managed to calm her a little, but it wasn’t until she was guzzling on her milk that the tears finally stopped and her cries turned to soft whimpers. She was asleep not long after, tired and tuckered out from her hectic day as was Ichabod, curled up on top of Reid’s feet on the floor.

“The kids definitely tired each other out,” Luke said quietly. He adjusted Lettie so that she had her head resting on his shoulder and placed a light kiss to her head as she snuffled into his neck with a sleepy sigh.

Reid huffed a laugh, carefully slipping his feet out from under Ichabod and flicked his eyes between both Lettie and him. “Definitely--I’ve never seen Ichy so quiet.”

Luke rubbed Lettie’s back and laughed softly. “I can imagine he’s a handful.”

Reid shrugged, rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses. “He can be, but he’s a good dog.”

Luke hummed in agreement, moving carefully off of the couch and lay Lettie into her car seat. She made a sleepy sound, eyes fluttering open for a moment but Luke hushed her, covering her with her blanket and stayed close, patting her chest lightly till she was sound asleep again. Giving another quick kiss to her head, he rose and sat back on the couch, putting his elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

His head was pounding with an odd headache, his limbs feeling weak all of a sudden. This crazy day had finally caught up with him and the silence and the unsaid things were only eating away at him.

“Luke? Are you alright?”

No more lying, no more excuses. Honesty was the best thing for the here and now.

“No,” he whispered.

The couch dipped next to him and he knew that Reid had moved closer with concern. “ _No_? What do you--”

Luke lifted his head, meeting his eyes, suddenly feeling so angry and hurt that it surprised him. “You _left,_ Reid.”

Reid’s face fell turning pale, understanding dawning on him. “I know,” he answered, voice hard and sharp.

Luke waited for more, his rage churning under his skin. “And that’s it? You have nothing else to say?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Luke turned on the couch to face him head on, eyebrows high. “I want to know why.”

“You know why, Luke. We had this conversation.”

“How about you refresh my mind because apparently you weren’t convincing enough. I have no doubt you’ll try to convince me again.”

“ _Luke_.”

“I emailed you a million times, I tried to _call_ you!”

“I know.”

“You _know_? Then how about an e-mail or a phone call back? If not for me then for the neurology wing that you left behind. I thought your career was everything to you.”

Reid swallowed hard, not meeting his gaze. “I thought it was better that way.”

“You thought it was--,” Luke took a breath, keeping his voice quiet for Lettie’s sake. “Okay fine, you hated me, whatever--that’s okay. But the neurology wing?! I thought you’d at least stay to take charge of that. What about Katie, and Jacob?! Do you know how pissed off Katie was when you left?”

“I do, but we talked--figured things out.”

Luke felt like he’d been punched in the gut, his breathing becoming erratic. “You talked? You--you talked to her but you couldn’t talk to me? Do you hate me that much?”

Reid shook his head, darting his eyes to Luke and holding his gaze stubbornly. “No, I don’t.”

“Doesn’t sound like it right now.”

“I _don’t_ hate you. I left because--”

“You left because you thought Noah and I were together, right?”

Reid didn’t say anything more, eyes shuttering closed and _that_ confirmed Luke’s theory.

“You were so obnoxious to assume that just because Noah and I were talking, we were _together_? God, Noah was right all along!”

Reid adopted Luke’s earlier position, elbows on knees and face in his hands. Luke had to take a breath against the emotion that was coursing through every cell in his body. But he needed answers, no matter how much they cut him up inside.

“Did you think that Noah and I were together this whole time? Didn’t Katie ever tell you?”

“No,” Reid mumbled through his hands, moving them away and scratching idly at his beard. “I didn’t ask about you and she didn’t tell me, even though she tried once or twice. It wasn’t my right to know.”

“The same way it wasn’t my right to know anything about you. Great, good to know you cared, Reid.”

This time it was Reid’s turn to glare at him, eyes fiery and brows furrowed. “Don’t tell me I didn’t care.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot--you only care for your patients. I was just a blip on your radar, wasn’t I?”

“Luke, don’t,” Reid warned.

“‘Don’t’ what?!” Luke snapped. Ichabod was now sitting up, ears pricked up and watching them with his head cocked and Reid patted his head, wanting him to stand down and relax. That only made Luke realise that he’d raised his voice louder than he’d meant to.

“If you cared, you would’ve stayed in Oakdale, Reid,” Luke said quietly but firmly. “You wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, without an explanation.”

Reid scoffed, scrubbing a hand under his nose, squaring his shoulders in challenge. “What do you want from me, Luke? You want to know the exact reasons why I left? You want to hear it from me?”

“Of course I do!”

Reid stared at him for a long moment, his glasses not hiding any of the emotion swirling around in his eyes. “I left my job for you, Luke. For you.”

Luke felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had known this, deep down he had. But hearing it out loud, like this, just made it all the more real.

“When you stood outside the hospital after that tour with Invicta and told me that I was selfish to choose my career over you, something didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t comprehend why you didn’t get that I wasn’t willingly choosing my job over you, I was trying to prioritise things for our future,” Reid sighed frustratedly and stood up, walking towards the fireplace, scrubbing both hands through his hair. He turned around to face him moments later, scuffing his toes into the carpet.

“Katie changed my mind, told me what I was doing was stupid and wrong. She told me that you’d changed me for the better, that you were worth leaving my job for and she was right. After that, it wasn’t too hard to tell Bob that I quit.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this, Reid?” Luke asked, voice cracking and eyes filling with tears.

“Because I saw you with Noah and,” Reid inhaled deeply, gathering his thoughts it seemed, “and I realised that there was nothing else to stay in Oakdale for. I couldn’t have you and I’d given up my job, why stay longer than my welcome?”

“God,” Luke laughed croakily, scrubbing at his stupid wet eyes, trying to remember their last conversation, in Katie’s front room. “Then why did you lie to me when I came to see you? You said you left the job because of hospital politics. Reid, I even went back to Bob and Mona to get your job back for you, you had to know that.”

Smiling wryly, Reid sighed. “Like, I said--I thought it was better that way. You had Noah back, he’d won, and I was the heartless neurosurgeon who chose his career over you. You didn’t give a damn, remember?” he said, his smile twisted and so utterly wrong on his face. “That ‘pathetic little town’ wasn’t for me, never was. You and Katie were probably the only reason I managed to stick it out for so long.”

Luke swore he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He felt the regret and pain seep through his body making him feel horribly cold, sick to his stomach. All this time wasted. All this time they’d both been idiots, misunderstandings having clouded everything that they ever thought and believed. If only they’d talked things out, if only the both of them hadn’t let their stubbornness rule their mind that day, things could’ve been so different.

Luke lay back against the couch, leaning his head backwards and covering his face with his hands, groaning softly. “We both majorly overreacted, huh?” he admitted, a short but sharp laugh slipping out of his lips.

“Looks like we did.”

Luke sat back up, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, to see Reid gazing at him with a sad smile and he mirrored it back, not sure what to say next. But there was only one thing that came to mind. “I’m sorry.”

Reid frowned then, baffled. “For what?”

“For reacting like I did? It wasn’t fair.”

Reid shook his head. “Your reaction is justifiable, I don’t know if my reaction ever was.” He walked his way over, pushing up the sleeves of his Henley and sat down next to Luke, with only a couple cushions between them.

Still concerned, Ichabod joined them on the couch, curling up between Reid and the armrest, resting his head on his knee. Reid stroked a hand over his head and down his back, comfortingly, Ichabod snuggling closer happily as Luke looked on fondly.

“I’m sorry too,” Reid said quietly. “For a lot of things.”

Luke blew out a long breath, heart and mind lighter than it had been in years. “No, don’t--we’re on the same page now, I think that’s the most important thing. Don’t you?”

Reid met his eyes and threw him a ghost of a smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Still haven’t forgiven you for not getting in touch though,” Luke reminded him with a frown, “that’s going to take me a while to forget.”

Reid accepted that with a sharp nod of his head, looking utterly apologetic. “That’s fine, I deserve that.”

Both men stared at each other for a long moment, with the lingering cloud of tension still hovering over them. Things were _far_ from perfect, but they’d made a start to fix things and that was the greatest thing.

“So, we’re okay?” Luke asked hopefully.

Reid's lips curled upwards a little. “We’re okay.”

The silence after that was a slightly more comfortable one, the television was on but the sound muted. Luke had his eyes on Lettie, watching her sleep and Reid was sat just as quiet next to him, most likely making sense of all that had happened today and all that they’d talked about, the same way he was.

“You said you’ve been single for a while? How long?” asked Reid, tone soft enough so that it didn’t startle him.

“Oh, I--”

Reid immediately backed down, rolling his eyes to himself. “That’s none of my business, sorry.”

“No, no--it’s okay.” Luke had taken his shoes off a while back and so got comfortable, pulling his feet up and wrapping his arms around his legs. “A year after you left I met someone...but it didn’t work out.” Luke paused, catching sight of Reid frowning, jaw clenching in jealousy or sadness, he wasn’t sure, but he sought to reassure him. “Rohan was great but--I didn’t love him the way that I should have."

“Bad break up?” he enquired.

Luke blinked. “No actually, we’re still really good friends.”

The corners of Reid’s mouth tugged up into a small smirk. “That’s a habit you can’t seem to break.”

Luke let out a surprised laugh. “It’s not my fault my ex-boyfriends want to stay in touch with me. I’m just _that_ unforgettable and lovable.”

There wasn’t a hint of reservation in Reid’s answer. “You are.”

Luke could feel his cheeks heating up and he coughed away his awkwardness, scratching behind his ear, definitely wanting to change the subject. “What about you? You can’t have been alone all this time.”

Face falling a little, Reid shook his head. “There hasn’t been anyone.”

“What? Not even one guy?”

“No, work has kept me busy. After Rochester, I moved to California for a couple of months, back to Dallas for a few more and then I was in London for almost a year before I came back here. There’s not been any time for anything other than work.”

“Was that a choice you made or was it because you weren’t interested in anyone?”

“A bit of both,” Reid told him, his fingers scratching lightly at his jeans. “No one else interested me anymore and hook ups lost their novelty about four years ago, longer than that if I think about it hard enough.”

But there was a part of that sentence that stuck with him more than anything. A part of that sentence that made his chest tighten with distress.

 _No one else_.

“No one else? Who was the ‘one’ before the ‘no one else’?” Luke asked quietly, voice thick with emotion, already knowing the answer because Reid had made a _choice_. And why would he do that?

Reid huffed a self deprecating laugh and for a moment, Luke thought he would deny it but he smiled his way and Luke knew that _that_ smile was only for him. “Please don’t make me spell it out for you, Luke.”

Luke stared at him, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Oh god.

Reid had possibly been in love with him for over three years and he hadn’t been with anyone else. He felt like a fool for thinking that someone would deny themselves of love because of him, and wasn’t that what Reid was admitting?

Wiping at the wetness on his cheek, Luke forced Reid to look his way, ducking his head to get his attention.

“Reid,” he croaked out.

But he wouldn’t look at him, eyes on Ichy. “Don’t--please don’t pity me, Luke.”

“I don’t-- _Reid_ ,” Luke slammed his fist into the cushion beside him, before curling his fingers into it, “it hurts me to think that you’ve lived feeling like this for three years and it was all my fault, it was all because of me.”

Reid rolled his eyes and finally looked at him, annoyed. “For once, would you stop taking the blame? Not everything is your fault, Luke. People make their decisions and they live with them.”

“But--”

Reid put a hand over his on the cushion between them, squeezing it tightly and for the first time in a long time, Luke felt grounded and safe and secure. “No, this was always your problem. Taking the world’s problems on your shoulders, thinking you had to fix it all and then believing that you deserve all the horrible things that have happened around you. I thought you’d overcome that.”

Luke looked down at their hands, the warmth of his grip everything that he’d ever needed. “I have.”

“Then can you just accept that I chose not to be with anyone. I chose to concentrate on my career. That was my choice--you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“It’s not easy.”

“I’m not saying it is but try to respect my decision?”

“Okay, yeah--fine,” Luke nodded and took a breath. He flipped his hand around, their fingers entwining unconsciously, Reid’s hold still tight and warm. “I’m still a work in progress, Reid--I’m not perfect.”

“Neither am I,” Reid admitted, his thumb rubbing over the back of his hand, pulling their hands into his lap.

Luke laughed wetly. “Did you really just say that?”

Reid rolled his eyes to the heavens and wrapped his other hand around the both of theirs. “Oh Christ, slip of the tongue--I never should’ve opened my mouth.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I trust that you won’t,” Reid told him, sincerely and without a flicker of doubt.

Luke blinked away the rest of his tears, wiping them away with his forearm and stared down at their hands, still entwined. He hadn’t realised just how close they were sitting now, thighs almost brushing, their bodies close enough that he could feel Reid’s warmth. God, he was really here and this was happening.

But would anything be happening now? Was it too late? Reid had said he’d made a choice but after today and everything else that had happened, would he change his mind? Would Reid still want this imperfect version of him? All Luke could think about was that they’d wasted all this time apart from each other; that they’d been so stubborn and caught up in their own insecurities to fix this.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Reid asked softly. Luke squeezed his hand in between Reid’s and hoped he could say it back. Say that he wanted him too, that he wanted another chance to make it work because he possibly maybe did love Reid and he wanted it all, he wanted everything with him.

But the words just wouldn’t come out.

However, Reid sensed that something was off and gently let Luke’s hand go, possibly realising he’d gone too far with the gesture but how wrong Reid was. He cleared his throat awkwardly but thankfully didn’t move away from him. “I’m sor--”

But Luke didn’t want to hear it even though he was missing Reid’s touch already, flexing his hand. The moment was broken though, it was lost. “No, it’s fine.”

Reid smiled his way and glanced at the time on the wall, eyebrows rising in surprise. Luke followed his gaze and was shocked at how quickly the time had passed. It was almost ten and he needed to get Lettie and himself to bed if she was going to sleep through the night. She didn’t do well when she woke up somewhere new.

“Did you want me to drop you home?”

Luke glanced over at Lettie, who was smiling in her sleep, and then back at Reid sheepishly. “I feel terrible for putting you out this way.”

“It’s nothing,” Reid dismissed it, gesturing for Ichabod to go to his bed before getting to his feet, looking a little dejected. “I’ll get your coat and we can get going.”

They both got ready, an odd but different unease and tension encircling them as they did. Luke could feel it crackling between them. Because even though they’d talked things out, even things Luke had never expected to hear, it needed closure, they needed closure. And Luke hoped it wasn’t the _forever_ kind of closure.

The drive back passed by way too quickly, Lettie was in a deep sleep and didn’t even wake up when they got her out of the car. Maybe she’d been more tired than he’d thought. Reid had let some light music fill the silence and Luke was grateful for it because he needed to get this right.

Reid followed with the backpack as Luke carried Lettie inside, snow falling earnestly around them. Luke wished he could enjoy it but not yet, not when his heart still felt heavy and Reid was acting as if he hadn’t revealed that he’d been in love with him for three years.

He left Reid downstairs, asking him to wait which Reid didn’t say no to, and headed upstairs to settle Lettie in her crib. She hadn’t made a sound the whole time and Luke was sure to leave Derek right beside her, in case she had a yearning for him at all. Dropping a lingering kiss to her forehead, Luke went downstairs and found Reid waiting in the hallway, looking at the pictures on the wall with an odd expression, almost bereft and full of woe. He turned around when he heard Luke, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, didn’t make a sound. She can sleep through almost anything but I’m just hoping she sleeps through the night to give me a break."

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed,” Reid said with a laugh, scratching idly at his beard again, shuffling his feet and just about ready to bolt. Luke didn’t want him to go, he couldn’t let him go, but there was something going on in Reid's mind, something that he couldn't quite work out.

But Reid pointed to the door behind him and smiled ruefully. “I’m going to go now.”

Luke needed to stall him somehow. “Okay, umm--will I see you soon?"

“Yeah, of course--I'll see you soon.” Reid pressed his lips together, looking crestfallen and turned around, hand twisting on the doorknob. But Luke had to stop him. He needed to know what they’d started wasn’t over, he wanted Reid and he hoped Reid wanted him so if Reid wasn’t going to say it, _he would_. It was obvious that Reid had assumed he hadn’t wanted anything, but fuck, that was so far from the truth. He really was an idiot.

A sudden surge of courage overcame him, all the questions he had planned thrown out the window and he grabbed a hold of Reid’s forearm, stalling him from going anywhere. Reid looked down between his arm and Luke, perplexed.

“Luke, what--”

“Does this mean we don’t have a chance? Do you not want me anymore?” he asked breathlessly.

Reid's eyes shuttered for a second, mouth opening to say something but he said nothing.

He didn’t want to scare Reid off now that he’d found him again and so he pulled Reid around, his other hand gripping his other forearm, squeezing tight. “What if I said I haven’t forgotten about you this whole time? That you’re the reason I left Oakdale in the first place? It's because of you that I was brave enough to move to Boston, Reid."

Reid looked away, shaking his head. “Luke, I don’t--”

“Can we start over? Do this right?” he pleaded, dropping his hands to grip Reid’s. “I know this is fast and overwhelming and crazy but I want to be with you, Reid. I want to take this chance we’ve been given and do something about it.”

“You want to be with me?” he said slowly, eventually.

“Yes, I want to be with you,” Luke told him, wondering why Reid had even asked that question. “We can take it slow, do whatever--it’s up to you. I want to do this right this time--no more hospital politics or unresolved feelings for exes or meddling family. Just you and me, Reid.”

Reid gazed at him for a long moment, face unreadable, and that wasn’t what Luke wanted. He needed a smile or something, but no--nothing. He felt the dread hitting him hard. Slipping his hands out of Luke’s, Reid ducked his head and cleared his throat before he spoke. “I don’t know,” he finally said. And if hearing that didn’t punch the air out of Luke’s lungs, he would be lying.

Reid backed up into the door and scrubbed a hand over hair before shoving his hands into his coat pocket so they were out Luke’s reach. Reid looked like he felt he didn't belong there, as if he was a stranger in this world of his, that he would never find his place and that was so far from the truth. “I don’t--I need some time to process all of this. I don't deserve--" he paused, gaze firmly set over Luke's shoulder with his jaw clenched tight, "I don’t think you really want me."

That raised Luke’s hackles and he stared at him in shock, emotions getting the better of him. “You don’t think I really-- _shut up_ , Reid. How can you even say that?”

Reid's eyes snapped back to him. “I’m not good for you, Luke. Look how much better you’ve been without me--it’s better this way.”

“Then why run after me when I saw you at the market? Why invite me for dinner? Why tell me you’ve not been with anyone since you’ve been with me?”

Reid shrugged and avoiding Luke’s eyes again and didn't answer for the longest time. “It was a moment of weakness.”

Luke wanted to close the distance, wrap him up in his arms and just hold him, but if Reid was uncomfortable with it, he was going to stand right where he was. He didn’t want to give up, but if Reid didn’t want this right now then he wasn’t going to force him into anything. Luke could only hope that Reid would change his mind and believe that if anything, he has only been good for him. Never a bad thing.

Never.

“Go home, Reid,” Luke said quietly, folding in on himself, utterly drained--mentally and physically. “I think you need to think about what you’ve said and realise how stupid it was. I don’t know if you’ll realise it today, tomorrow, in three months’ time or in another three years, but I’ll still be waiting, right here. I’ll keep waiting.”

He could see Reid holding back an emotion, a flicker of _something_ , but it disappeared behind his walls again. With another quick look but without another word, Reid opened the front door and left, closing it behind him with a quiet click, leaving Luke hollow inside.

He stood frozen on the spot for a couple of seconds, trying to comprehend what had happened, feeling cold to his core. This wasn’t how tonight was meant to go. They’d figured things out, cleared the air and they were okay. Then what _happened_?

Luke walked over to the door sluggishly, defeated and upset and pressed his forehead against the cold wood and fingers curling into it, resisting the urge to bang his head against it. He wasn't going to cry. No he wasn't.

He really was an idiot. He’d messed up, _again_.

He didn't know how long he'd stood there but a light knock against the door had Luke jump back, a gasp slipping out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. Another knock, slightly louder, echoed in the hallway, along with Reid’s voice.

“Luke, please open the door--Luke?”

Luke wanted to be petulant and childish, he didn’t want to open the door because who knew what else Reid would say to hurt him.

“Luke?” and then came another insistent knock and if Reid was as stubborn as Luke knew he was, he wasn’t going to go anywhere.

Steeling himself, Luke swung open the door with a glare but Reid ignored him and pushed past him, their shoulders brushing and stood by the stairs, waiting for Luke to close the door and look at him again.

He folded his arms across his chest and faced Reid who looked chilled to the bone, snowflakes glistening in his hair as they melted. “What do you want now?”

“Are you sure?” Reid asked seriously, determinedly.

Luke narrowed his eyes, puzzled. “Sure about what?”

Reid huffed. “About being with me? Do you want to be with me?”

Luke swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and nodded eagerly, earnestly. How could Reid even doubt that? The words weren’t falling past his lips but he could see Reid understood, his eyes now blazing with something new, warmer than ever before and dare he say it, full of love and adoration.

“Okay good,” Reid blew out with a chuckle as a smile started to creep up onto his face, “I am such an idiot,” he murmured to himself before licking his lips and nodding to himself, looking Luke dead in the eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

Luke’s heart skipped a beat he was sure, his breath hitched in this throat and before he knew it Reid was stalking towards him and was holding his face between both his hands kissing him hard.

Luke felt as if the ground had slipped away from beneath his feet, his heart rabbiting against his chest because holy crap, Reid was _kissing_ him. It took a couple of seconds for Luke to catch up but when he did, he slipped his arms around Reid’s waist and held him close, never wanting to let him go. Reid pulled away with a slick sound, lips that were cold at first and now so warm, but Luke didn’t let him go far, capturing his lips for a deeper, slower kiss that was so good that he didn’t even care for the beard burn. It only made the kiss a hell of a lot better. Reid’s thumbs rubbed over the bolt of Luke’s jaw, nudging him his mouth open a little wider so he could slip in some tongue and when Reid did, Luke moaned softly into his mouth, Reid swallowing the sounds and laughing into the kiss.

God, it had been ages since he’d been kissed like this. He’d never felt so complete and happy and adored and Luke didn’t want to stop, giving it all he had and pouring every ounce of emotion he could into it. But there was something called oxygen that they needed and Reid reluctantly pulled away, nudging his nose against his making Luke finally open his eyes and see those gorgeous blue eyes up close.

Reid rubbed a thumb over Luke’s sore and swollen lips and chuckled. “I gave you beard burn, sorry.”

“Worth it,” Luke replied, leaning in for another long and lingering kiss before nuzzling his nose into Reid’s cheek, kissing the side of his nose and under his eye. He rubbed his cheek against Reid's bearded one and he sighed happily, it felt just as amazing as he'd imagined.

"You are an idiot," Luke whispered, his content smile dying against Reid's cheek. "What were you thinking saying all those things?"

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Reid said quietly into his ear, his hands had dropped from his face to palm his lower back a while back. “I realised what I said was stupid about three seconds after it came out of my mouth and I needed to leave before I made things worse."

Luke pulled away, looking at him curiously. "Then what changed your mind?"

"You, just you," Luke smiled at that as Reid carried on, "I let my insecurities and my doubts get the better of me instead of listening to what I really wanted. I was thinking illogically instead of making you my priority. I'm sorry."

“No, no--it’s okay, there’s nothing to forgive. I'm just glad you came to your senses,” Luke held Reid’s face between both of his hands and gave him one more kiss. “I was harsh and got angry too quickly, you reacted by running away which is something we need to work on, but we’re here now. And I think that we’re good for each other, despite our imperfections.”

Reid ran his eyes over his face and nodded, dragging them closer together. “Pretty much perfect for each other.”

“That’s nice to hear,” Luke admitted, his fingers finding Reid’s hair and twisting through the curls. “We _are_ pretty much made for each other, huh?”

“Yeah,” Reid said with laugh, dropping his forehead against Luke’s and sighing, eyes closed. A sigh that gave away just how much Reid had been hiding in his heart and just how much hurt he’d been keeping inside.

“If I couldn’t be with you, I didn’t want to be with anyone else,” Reid confessed with a whisper between their lips, noses touching.

Luke tried to hold back his tears, but one slipped out anyway, rolling down his cheek without his permission and Reid wiped it away with his thumb, leaving a kiss on his cheek in its wake.

Luke couldn’t help but finally embrace him, burying his face into his neck and breathing him in, Reid gripping him just as hard. The obstacles they’d overcome to get to this moment were unbelievably crazy and never had he imagined that a random day out to a Christmas market would end with this; the man that he’d fallen in love with three years ago in his arms wanting to be with him again.

After everything the world had thrown at them, they’d made it.

“ _I misjuba inti_ ,” Luke whispered into Reid’s ear, pressing a kiss to the shell of it. “ _I misjuba inti_.”

A laugh rumbled through Reid and Luke pulled back to see him smiling lovingly at him. “What did you say?” he asked, brushing his knuckles across Luke’s cheek.

Luke shook his head teasingly. “I’m not _that_ bad at foreign languages. You were rude to judge me so quick.”

“Fine,” Reid said amusedly. “I’ll figure it out--I’m a genius after all.”

“Yes, you are,” Luke grinned, kissing him once more. “So Mr. Genius, how about you tell me what we do now?” he said seriously, hands coming up to rest on Reid’s chest. “I want to make sure we do this right.”

“Do you want me to _court_ you?”

Luke laughed at the use of the word, kissing the corner of Reid’s mouth, fingers playing with his scarf. “Yes, I want everything but more than anything, I want to take this at our pace. We have nothing to hold us back or bother us now but I don’t want us to rush this.”

Reid agreed. “Okay, let’s take this at our pace. Today has been hectic enough so, let’s sleep on it and we can talk tomorrow--how does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Luke said with a nod dragging Reid closer so he could kiss him again.

"So this ex of yours--Rohan," Reid enquired after breaking the kiss a couple of minutes later, curling some of Luke's hair behind his ear, "how close are the both of you?"

Luke narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously, a little amused by the subject change because it was pretty random. "Are you jealous?"

Reid rolled his eyes, ignoring the question. "I'm asking because it's inevitable that I'm going to meet him so it would nice to know just how much he knows about me."

"He's become a very good friend of mine which means yes, he knows about you and we are close, but only as friends," Luke reassured him. "I hope that's okay?"

Reid frowned at the question. "Luke--I'm not saying that you can't be his friend anymore. I wouldn't do that."

"I know that, I just--I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Luke bit his lip, sighing. "That I moved on with him and didn't wait for you."

Reid huffed a laugh, his hands running up and down his sides in a soothing motion. "Luke, are you sorry you met Rohan? Do you regret the relationship you had with him?"

Luke thought about it for a moment honestly, and shook his head because no, Rohan had been a very good part of his life and still is.

"Then how can I hate the friendship you have with him?"

Luke smiled at him gratefully and gave him a kiss, thankful that Reid was so understanding. He brushed his fingers gently across Reid's lips, smile widening, marvelling about the fact that he'll get the chance to kiss that mouth from now until forever. "I couldn't have ever loved Rohan the way that I love--" Luke stopped himself speaking right there, his own eyes widening, and he knew, he just _knew_ that Reid had understood the rest of that. But Reid’s face didn’t give anything away, except for a hint of a smile. Just a small one. And Luke hoped that he wasn't blushing too hard. "Umm, Rohan does think you're hot though."

Reid smirked, nodding approvingly. "Then I like him already."

Luke swatted at his chest with a laugh. "Don't be changing your mind now. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good to know."

There was more kissing than talking for the next couple of minutes, Luke wanting to drag Reid into the front room for more of the making out but Reid pulled away, knowing that the both of them had had an emotionally taxing day and needed to sleep it off.

They had much more to talk about and work through, but this time they had each other and Luke had no doubt that they could do it, that they could get through this. They were stronger together than apart.

They kissed at the door one more time, Reid dropping one last kiss to Luke’s forehead before embracing him tightly, one hand holding his head close, the other wrapped around his back.

“ _Ti ho trovato finalmente_ ,” Reid whispered into his ear.

Luke snorted out a laugh in disbelief as Reid pulled away smirking, letting him go.

“What did you say? Was that Italian?”                           

Reid grinned in response, beaming, and pressed one more kiss to the back of Luke’s hand before opening the door. “Figure it out for yourself.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Reid threw back without a beat. And with another softer grin he finally let go of Luke’s hand as he turned around to leave. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight, Luke.”

“Goodnight.”

But a thought came to Luke. He hadn't said all he wanted to say, not yet.

"Reid, wait a second."

Reid twisted back around, confused, but Luke closed the distance between them and held Reid's face between his hands, thumbs smoothing over his cheekbones, making sure that he had his attention. He pressed their foreheads together and blew out a shuddering breath, his emotions overwhelming him for a moment.

"You deserve this, you deserve everything," he said softly, in a hushed tone. "Don't ever think that you don't, okay? We deserve each other, Reid--in all the good ways. Do you believe me when I say that?"

Reid's eyes were closed but he nodded, humming in agreement. His eyes fluttering open seconds later, the depths of Reid's feelings clear to see and Luke couldn't help but kiss him deeply but sweetly.

Luke followed Reid outside, not giving a damn about the cold and watched as he got in his car. Reid urged Luke to go inside with a series of hand gestures but he wasn’t going to budge. Resigned to the fact that Luke really wasn’t going anywhere, Reid waved once more and drove off carefully, the snow crunching under his tires as he did.

Luke waved back until the car could no longer be seen and finally breathed, wiping away at his eyes with a laugh.

Stupid tears and his ridiculous emotions.

He looked up into the sky and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself and reveling in cold sparks of snow that his face, feeling happier than he had felt in a long time.

And Casey was right.

Miracles really do happen at Christmas.

 

 

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke spoke some Maltese there, which I hope is correct as well as the Italian! If I did get it wrong, I apologise and you're free to correct me! Google Translate can sometimes be your best friend and at other times your worst enemy. ;) *hint*
> 
> Thank you for reading! ♥


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